Idk if this is relatable at all, but I get a sort of “high” when things pile up (primarily in social/engagement contexts. I think part of it stems from the fact that I see numerous hints of something to do, but that is immediately offset by the thought/potential of negative engagement and/or rejection. There’s also the thought that once I do engage/respond, my “inbox” will never return to that level. And then I see that as a reflection of myself being too much/not enough. Rinse and repeat
God, it’s such a toxic cycle. I can’t remember any time in my life when I haven’t had this problem in some way, but I think it first started bothering me in high school when I would get unfollowed on instagram or people wouldn’t respond to my texts. So I kinda learned to just avoid and dodge what hurt. Honestly might have been earlier than that when I was deemed a loud mouth and always told to shut up/pay attention
I feel like it’s something I must learn to conquer though, especially in this day and age. I always think to the interactions I’ve had online where I do end up responding and connecting with people (though it doesn’t happen often). It’s like it suddenly dawned on me that I get so upset when I am lonely but sometimes go out of the way to ensure no one finds me. And when people do find me, I always keep them at a distance :/
there is research that shows that doing a task that you don’t want to do, shows up in the ‘pain’ centers of the brain of folks with adhd. iow, you’re avoiding it because it feels like pain
Fuck that would make sense. lol I just thought of how most of my friends irl also have adhd, and I take it personally when I reach out and they don’t respond 😬 of course they always eventually do, but I always feel like something is wrong when they don’t. Godamn brain
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Don’t wanna talk about it cuz then I might have to talk about it more than I want to talk about it. Which is actually a little bit.
literally me meaning to respond to this yesterday
Here’s a little of what I learned in the six years since my diagnosis. ADHDers commonly develop comorbidities that have a compounding effect on ADHD symptoms. Take for example, “rejection sensitivity dysphoria”: a learned response, caused by overexposure to social isolation in childhood, to perceived “rejections” from others that feel extremely hurtful, but are mere differences in opinion where no judgment was passed. See also: anxiety caused by a deep insecurity over the struggle to form meaningful relationships and fit in with groups and take part in cliques. Or depression from consistent failure to complete low dopamine activities, which is further amplified by difficulties engaging in hobbies.
ADHD comorbidities all have the same underlying cause. If the executive dysfunction is treated with medication, exercise, diet, and sleep hygiene, the comorbidities will be reduced greatly or cured. Easier said than done, I know. I still struggle with it, and I can’t stress enough how important it is to take care of yourself emotionally. The trauma must be addressed with counseling or by making strong connections with people you care about.
yes i can relate
I’ve become a hardcore gold medal Olympian self saboteur so… Yes.
Yes. For me definitely. It’s a huge problem
This is so real. It really sucks that all of the failed interactions are my fault. Like I had the opportunity. But I didn’t act on it because I was waiting for a better moment, or whatever other excuse I made to myself. And when I do communicate it does always work out for me. But my brain just doesn’t want to.
Like I had the opportunity. But I didn’t act on it because I was waiting for a better moment, or whatever other excuse I made to myself. And when I do communicate it does always work out for me. But my brain just doesn’t want to.
Godamn felt so hard. I play the moment I first discovered this about myself on loop all the time. Internally, I was just like “Ehh I’ll get to it later or it will naturally work itself out.”
That did not happen 😃
