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riverSpirit to General Memes & Private Chuckle@lemmy.dbzer0.comEnglish · 9 days ago

Ah shit, here we go again

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Ah shit, here we go again

riverSpirit to General Memes & Private Chuckle@lemmy.dbzer0.comEnglish · 9 days ago
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  • rockerface🇺🇦@lemmy.cafe
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    9 days ago

    Wiping mentioned on the internet, bidet sleeper agent activated

    • hOrni@lemmy.world
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      9 days ago

      Yeah, like everybody has the possibility to install a bidet.

      • applebusch@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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        9 days ago

        assuming you have running water, yeah you should be able to find a model that works. if you mean your landlord “won’t let you”, enjoy the sweet sensation of not giving a fuck what they think because they will never check. if for some reason you still can’t, they make portable bidets that you don’t even need to install. I have one that is basically just a water bottle with a curved nozzle for a cap, so you just have to fill it, aim, and squeeze to spray your ass. there are fancier ones with a battery and pump.

        • UnrefinedChihuahua@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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          9 days ago

          Many people assume a standalone bidet and don’t realize there’s cheap ones you can install on your existing toilet pretty easily. I bought a few ransoms randoms off of Amazon 6 years ago and they are still going strong.

        • binarytobis@lemmy.world
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          9 days ago

          I have a washlet from Toto, and the built in bidet is nice, but man the shape of the seat is so good. I would honestly use it just for the toilet seat part.

      • rockerface🇺🇦@lemmy.cafe
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        9 days ago

        I’m using a showerhead with narrow spray mode. It’s not very convenient, but it gets the job done

      • zeezee@slrpnk.net
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        8 days ago

  • wopalopa@lemmy.world
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    9 days ago

    bidet ftw

  • UnimportantHuman@lemmy.ml
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    9 days ago

    GET A BIDET

  • FistingEnthusiast@lemmy.world
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    9 days ago

    sobs in IBS…

    • PoliteDudeInTheMood@lemmy.ca
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      9 days ago

      Doctor gave me Colesevelam, I forget what it’s actually used for, but off-label: it binds matter together in your GI tract. Each pill lasts like 3-4 hours so as long as you take them regularly during the day (3x2 pills is max I think) you will have a sense of normalcy while at work. Once they wear off though you’re back to business as usual.

  • douz0a0bouz@midwest.social
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    9 days ago

    This should’ve been posted in shitposts

  • TheGiantKorean@lemmy.today
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    9 days ago

    Rub some Oxyclean on there. It’s the stain specialist!

    • Mister_Hangman@lemmy.world
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      9 days ago

      Chipotleaway!

    • SaveTheTuaHawk@lemmy.ca
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      8 days ago

      90s solution. Phil Swift sealed his ass with FlexSeal.

  • nonentity@sh.itjust.works
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    9 days ago

    It’s like wiping a marker.

  • vagrancyand@sh.itjust.works
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    9 days ago

    That’s why I finger blast myself until I get hard. I’m not German so I can’t poop while erect and the flow stops. Just one very careful wipe after that and we’re good to go.

    • chronicledmonocle@lemmy.world
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      8 days ago

      I…wat?

  • RememberTheApollo_@lemmy.world
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    8 days ago

    Like trying to wipe away a grease pencil.

    (The answer is fiber! Have a decent amount and sometimes its a ghost shit!)

    • Serpent@feddit.uk
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      8 days ago

      Psilium husk is a god send

  • MrQuallzin@pie.eyeofthestorm.place
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    9 days ago

    Nothing worse than a Frictionless Wipe

  • diffaldo@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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    9 days ago

    You need to use the millitary finger method☝️ Its environmentanly friendly cuz it only takes 1 square of toilet paper!

    • lumpenproletariat@quokk.au
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      9 days ago

      What about the 3 seashells? That’s far more sustainable.

      • diffaldo@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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        9 days ago

        Seems okay but its dangerous tho

        • henfredemars@infosec.pub
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          9 days ago

          Live dangerously.

  • M137@lemmy.today
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    9 days ago

    I’ve had this maybe twice my whole life, it’s usually 5-6 wipes and there’s nothing left. Dunno what the fuck you’re eating or doing to have that as a common problem.

    • LetThereBeNick@lemmy.zip
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      9 days ago

      I’m convinced these people press too hard

  • Tollana1234567@lemmy.today
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    8 days ago

    its cocaine isnt it?

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