Sweetie, you need to up your blacksmithing game.
Your sword is no match for me!
How about this sword?
Fucking disgusting
Maybe if she dressed up as a sword…
If she wants to get men to pay attention to her she should just get a hammer and anvil.
When I was young, I was naive to the ways of romance, and especially romantic communication. I was often oblivious to advances made upon me, and awkward and unskilled at making any expression of interest without just looking a bit foolish. However, after a lot of experience and many ups and downs in the pursuit of love, I find that I am no longer young.
Men are dense and women are indirect.
I know these are generalities, but it’s sooo freakin common that it’s a well-known trope.
I’d actually go a step further and say that it’s not so much that men are “dense” as it is that they are full of self-doubt…I.e., seeing the advances, knowing they are there, but not believing that they are actually intended for them, or it’s a joke/prank, or for whatever other reason, they convince themselves that it’s not an advance and they are misinterpreting.
IANAD, but I’d guess this has more to do with mens mental-health awareness than anything else.
Or maybe he just wasn’t in the mood? Despite the tropes, men don’t want sex ALL the time, and just like women don’t want to be responsible for the feelings of men, we don’t want to always be responsible for quelling the insecurities of women. This doesn’t even have to be a gendered thing. No one wants to be the only source of validation for their partner. Often we hope they are on some level emotionally mature and self assured.
OP was doing the person equivalent of a cat walking across your keyboard because you were typing instead of petting.
or it’s that the risk involved isn’t worth it.
because for every woman who ‘is sending you signals’ 7/10 of them will actually not be, and 2/10 of them will be, but deny it, and 1/10 will actually be happy you got the signal.
not to mention one woman’s ‘signal’ is another’s ignore you, is another’s just being friendly, is another’s desperately trying to passively tell you to fuck off. there is no consistency because every woman is different.
and plenty of women will up sleep with you, tell you they love you, want to be with you, and then laugh in your face and ask you why you thought she was ever interested a few days later. which is a total mindfuck.
as a man, who are you supposed to make any sense of any of that? you can’t. so you just learn to ignore it all and focus your efforts on ladies who are clear with their intentions and behaviors… of which there are not a lot, and if you find one you marry her.
many people are totally inconsistent, straight up lie, and are otherwise unclear about what they want and who they are to the opposite sex… because SEX.
a lot of people engaged in compeltely different personalities and behaviors when sex becomes involved. hence why their friends can’t understand why they ‘struggle’ with romantic partners… well because the person they are to their friends is totally different.
personally, i’ve always been SHOCKED at how radically different some of my gfs would behave around their friends vs around me or in public. it was like they were a completely different person. Stuff they’d tell me they hated, they told their friends they loved, etc.
It’s a trope, but it’s also supposedly “well known” that men are horny bastards who think with their dicks… yet somehow we have these the two very opposing scenarios.
Personally, despite a rather distinct lack of interest from the “fairer sex” prior to college, I found that plenty of women were more interested in sex than me in later years and not particularly subtle about it, which was actually off-putting as I wanted a relationship with a bit more substances. A lot of guys I know were in the same boat. Sex was easy. Finding somebody who actually wanted to do activities together was quite hard.
Something I’ve noticed in myself, maybe because of the lack of interest from women at a younger age, is that women will almost throw themselves at you sometimes. Like, yeah I get it, I’m down for that too, but I won’t be able to make it move for you if I don’t know you ma’am.
The tropes are projection.
The people who say that shit are almost always… the ones who do that shit. Every woman I know whines about shallow horny non-committal men… was talking about her own behavior and just blaming men for it. whenever they would meet a new guy they would go off about his looks and his money and other shallow traits, and then they would say they knew he wouldn’t commit but they didn’t care and would date him anway, and then if he didn’t commit she’d be so upset, but if he did commit… she’d dump him because there was ‘something wrong with him’. etc etc
Just like dudes who complain about shallow gold diggers… are mostly shallow gold diggers themselves.
Every woman I know whines about shallow horny non-committal men…
This really seems like some sort of cognitive bias, maybe Clustering Illusion?
She sees the horny non-committal men because they make obvious advances towards her (and, for that matter, she reciprocates).
The results of how men behave when she makes the first move, is first limited to the men she makes a move on first. That sounds confusing as hell but I don’t know how else to write it.
I don’t really want to figure out the
( n(n-1) / n)number of potential outcomes between which person makes an advance first, whether or not they are (interested/reciprocate; not interested/do not reciprocate; do not notice), and then further how the originator reacts and the outcome of the interaction.Needless to say, though, I imagine the number of men who do not reciprocate on her “first move”, either intentionally or not, would be significantly bottlenecked by the amount of people with whom she makes the first move to begin with.
There’s also the coy/flirty method of “playing hard to get” vs a lack of interest being interpreted as such.
Relationships are complicated.
Not worth the risk of misinterpretation in this age of everything is harassment, plus most (humans) are uninteresting to begin with anyway.
Improved your sword making skills along the way?
Why of course I have. I’m pretty good at forging with a hammer and anvil and I have branched out to casting bronze swords. Though my knapping skills are still weak…
Succinct, eloquent prose there. Well said
Amazing
Part of the reason why we differntiate consent and enthusiastic consent
100 percent I want to watch that doc.
But also 100 percent I’m hitting pause if my wife just comes out and says she wants me to smelt her nickel
Smelt her nickel?
Hammer her red hot metal
Star in a documentary I guess.
Honnêtement, pour moi, c’est l’inverse. Ma femme regarde son téléphone toute la soirée. Cela commence à devenir un problème pour moi.
Désolé.
She probably needs to take a shower
You kid, but this legit killed a relationship of mine. She just would not shower, and if she did she wouldn’t do it well.
It sounds like hes respecting consent, just being in your underwear doesn’t automatically mean you want him all over you and hes respecting that possibility.
If I was playing a video game that I was super sucked into and focused on, and then a girl I was with still in her underwear sat next to me, I wouldn’t assume it was an invitation to immediately begin sucking on her titties or something. I’d figure she just wanted to chill next to me in her undies.
If you want to have sex: communicate that. He probably would have been down.
This situation isn’t about consent; it’s about seduction and attraction. It’s not unrealistic that seeing your partner in their underwear might distract you from what you’re doing and elicit an amorous response, and that’s what she wants. There’s no suggestion that that response would be anything but respectful of consent.
Oh, because consent is about mind-reading?
What she wears doesn’t imply consent, except for when she wants it to (without communicating that), and then it’s her boyfriend’s failure as a man for not magically picking up on that?
Welcome to another classic episode of “Troll or incel!”
I’m going with troll for this one.
Welcome to another episode of “Not taking men’s concerns seriously even when they’re legitimately confused by all the mixed messages, double standards, and shifting expectations that are impossible to guess at any given moment!”
I’m going to go with maybe I’ve been gaslit for years, and I bet people still won’t treat that as valid.
So to be clear, you are confused about… what exactly?
In what possible way would “mind reading” even be relevant to this discussion?
Someone said the woman in the post is expecting advances from her boyfriend, but how is he supposed to know that? Everything I’ve heard for at least the past six years has been about how we’re never supposed to assume advances would be welcome. So the mind-reading is required because the guy is expected to just know that she wants that, without her ever telling him so.
It never implies consent, and she hasn’t said it does, and hasn’t implied it does. Responding to an (apparent) attempt at seduction, which is what she actually wants, does not require one to do anything that requires consent. What do you think it involves? You think she wants him to climb aboard and start thrusting with no preamble? Can you imagine anything short of that that might make her happy?
Responding to an (apparent) attempt at seduction, which is what she actually wants, does not require one to do anything that requires consent.
What exactly do you think seduction is?
I was under the impression that consent is required for pretty much everything. So what exactly do you expect him to do?
“Hey, I noticed you’re in your underwear. Does this mean you’re propositioning me?”
You can obfuscate all you want by code switching whenever it’s convenient for you. “I’m horny, so nothing that I want right now requires consent” versus “I’m not in the mood right now, so if you even look at me without my consent I will hold a grudge against you for the rest of my life.”
Just don’t be surprised when people stop putting up with your bullshit. The dude is probably focusing on his game because he doesn’t feel like being teased, toyed with, and accused of heinous shit.
“Hey, I noticed you’re in your underwear. Does this mean you’re propositioning me?”
Rewrite this so it doesn’t sound like it was written by chatgpt and you’d have an appropriate response, for example.
Or he could put an arm around her, or lean in for a kiss, or whatever. The rest of your comment smells off. Stick to what’s in the original if we’re still talking about that, or else justify why what you’re saying is realistic.
Or he could put an arm around her, or lean in for a kiss, or whatever.
Are you saying those things don’t require consent? Because I’m pretty sure there are a lot of people out there who would roast your ass on a spit for trying that without asking for permission first.
Context matters dude. If your girlfriend ask for explicit consent before you hug her, you’re in an abusive relationship.
Are these people in the room with us now?
Seriously, I don’t think those people actually exist. And if they do, I’m going to continue to ignore them and not ask permission every time I kiss or touch my partner, who will continue to do likewise to me.
Leaning in for a kiss is not the same as kissing. It’s really not difficult at all to be able to tell if she wants to reciprocate or not.
Like goddamn, some people here really need to get laid.
what she wants is to be passive aggressive.
chances are if he does show interest, she’ll reject him. because that’s what passive-aggressive people do, because it’s all about power-games and manipulation.
if she genuinely wanted attention, she’d ask for it. with her words. which is precisely the thing passive-aggressive people never do, because they are seeking to be aggrieved and upset for their minds and whims not being magically known by their partners.
Wanting a partner that shows active interest in you isn’t passive agression it’s totally normal. They just sound young and stupid and need to work on their communication skills
sitting there and being butthurt that someone doesn’t notice you is passive aggressive.
‘being young and stupid’ means being immature and needing to grow up and express you desires like an adult.
Maybe she does. But it’s not actually uncommon for people to others to pick up on things without having to be explicitly told.
chances are if he does show interest, she’ll reject him. because that’s what passive-aggressive people do, because it’s all about power-games and manipulation.
This is incel-tier bullshit.
My guy, it’s a joke. It’s not that deep
You aren’t very deep.
For real tho, what is the name of that doc?
Also. Is Melissa single?
For real. If he’s ignoring his girl getting sexy, that’s an awesome documentary and I’d like to see it!
Finish watching the doc, then ask her.
Greg is single but there’s a lot of competition
Hmm. A “hey” with three Ys and a smirk… I don’t think Melissa’s bf is the problem.
be more interesting than medieval sword making.
no, sex isn’t the answer. probably reading a book on medieval history and telling him about it is.
it always baffles me how many women i have dated… have no interests or passions, and seem to look down on people who do.
and the women i have dated who did have passions and interests… were way way more attractive and more fun to spend time with, because they didn’t expect me to entertain them.
I married a guy who already shared my interests, which I feel is a pretty hard requirement for a working relationship.
One of those interests is history, so we will be needing that docu as well
be more interested in medieval sword making.
no, sex isn’t the answer. probably reading a book on medieval
historysword making and telling him about it is.it always baffles me how many women i have dated… have no interests or passions in medieval sword making, and seem to look down on people who do.
and the women i have dated who did have passions and interests in medieval sword making… were way way more attractive and more fun to spend time with, because they provided the sauce for the video on it.
…ftfy
No sure who said this… sounds like Bill Burr but … “No matter how beautiful she is, there’s some guy somewhere who’s tired of putting up with her shit”
I remember seeing that as an image with text on it ages ago before we started calling those things memes.
The picture was something like generic young bombshell blonde in a swimsuit, I want to say.
Bill Burr performed in Saudi Arabia. He’s not kosher anymore.
Are you saying that’s a good thing or a bad thing?
Are you taking an anti-Arab or anti-Semitic position?
No we just don’t support people who support fascist regimes.
It’s bad. We don’t quote him anymore.
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More like anti-murdering-and-dismembering-of-journalists.
