That’s why my main advice to any woman seeking women is to make a move. Like, girl, you can’t just sit there looking pretty at a gay bar and hope to get a girl, most of the women there are already trying that to no luck.
this is why dating has become orders of magnitude more difficult for me after i quit drinking. my entire strategy was drinking enough to drown out “what if she thinks I’m being creepy, what if she’s mean, what if i say something stupid and get ostracized” until i could finally hear a tiny, slurred voice saying “lol wouldn’t it be funny if you talked to that girl you think is pretty and it turns out she can tolerate your presence” enough to go talk to the girl
but now i am 31 and my cells have decided making enough alcohol dehydrogenase is too much of a hassle and i have decided being hungover is too much of a hassle, so now i just drink soda in the lesbian bar trying to look available but not pathetic (it’s not working)
Ope, yeah. I’m the same age and currently facing the increasing brutality of hangovers pushing me to be more responsible with my drinking. It hasn’t yet hit the point of not being able to take advantage of the liquid courage to talk to people. Fortunately I do have a sober trick from my crippling anxiety days of psyching myself up to just cross the point where it’s more awkward to stop. It’s weird to think I was stone sober when I tried a stupid line on my now wife lol.
And yeah I think the big trick is to learn to casually chat with anyone and to learn to flirt. The first gets you comfortable and the second lets you figure out if someone is interested. I’ll admit I rarely make moves on someone because she looks available, but because she looks interesting or she’s been interesting in conversation.
psyching myself up to just cross the point where it’s more awkward to stop
this feels related to my executive function trick of “go do it for 5 minutes and then you can stop if you want” (i rarely stop after 5 min)
so i might try this. ty <3
Yep! It’s very similar because I didn’t really understand the difference between my anxiety and executive dysfunction when I was a teenager figuring out how to cope with them both.
Good luck!
I may just be a humble penis operator, so excuse the ignorance, but don’t they make toys for this situation? Something the sheep lack?
I’m also just a penis operator, but the joke to me is that neither of them is capable of initiating anything, just waiting for the topper
Ah, that makes sense. Thanks, friendo!
Serious question: is this as big of a deal with lesbians as it would be for gay men?
as a lesbian, i have no idea and would also like to know
That’s what I was wondering as well.
A different interpretation: a “bottom” doesn’t like to play the penetrative role in sex, and so two bottoms become frustrated in a sexual scenario with each other.
I’m a big fan of Doctorov , but in this case I would like a citation.
I’m making interested to see how the gender of the ewes was determined. I mean if the indicator of sexual attraction is indistinguishable from normal behavior: standing still how could one prove the sheep to be lesbian.
edit after reading through various research I’ve come to the conclusion that the researcher, Perkins, just admitted that there’s no way to study lesbian behavior in ewes, as the have no visible sexual expression (that the researchers know about)
It’s as much a statement of the importance of the researcher as they depend on clear intercourse-like behavior to explain attraction. They can’t see that in ewes, as their sexual behavior is passive. ‘if they don’t hump we can’t tell their sexual preference’
Which is a bit weird as they argue that in males sexual preference is hormonal, so that should register in females too. But that isn’t studied as there’s no interest.
I suppose he should have said “gay ewes would be hobbled” and lesbian sheep would be incapable of coupling up".
His quote shows that people say there’s no way of knowing one way or another, like you say, but Doctorow changed the language to be a bit more suggestive of certainty that the phenomenon exists.
Yeah I just added a bit of context after reading a couple of articles on the matter. I don’t know if you saw my edit, because I saw your reaction shortly after posting it.
The main takeaway sens to be that the academics aren’t really interested in female sexuality behavior and it isn’t studied.
I have read through a couple of articles that I could relate to the Journal article. Most focus really heavily on the male sexual expression. I could read nothing about female still behavior.
That isn’t strange, researchers focus mainly on the male sexual aspect, as that’s where the money is for sheep farmers.
I am however still searching for the quote about female sexuality, I can’t find it in Perkins, nor Stormshak’s work.
I hope the author manages to fix their space key
Yeah, I can’t tell if s/he just had trouble finding it, or s/he was trying to… build new words??
“They” is a word that exists!
most likely copied from PDF, thus the line break is copied properly.
Lesbiansheep
I read it as lesbianship at first
they’re waiting for someone like you to come along and fix it.
Schroedinger’s lesbian sheep
Not surprising considering how many human lesbians do the same thing when interested in another.
As a human male I have never felt so strongly that I belong to the opposite sex.
I know this is probably a joke, but you are aware that freezing up and being unable to make a move is a common thing for all genders, right?
Of course. I just thought the comment was very egg_irl-like.
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I’m so offended by how absolutely correct you are
>:(
Oh god it’s the pillow princess meme for realsies
That is an absolutely incredible mental image.
Where is the metaphor
The joke maybe is that lesbians are shy and often do nothing if they think someone is cute. Just like standing still.
Ahye I get that totally, but it just says it is a metaphor inside the image so I was confused because I was expecting layers
UselessLesbians.jpeg
I just can’t find the paper. One Link to Harvard gives 404. Yay for the censorship of lesbian sheep
yeah this is kinda fascinating, would read
The lesbian black widow spiders have entered the chat…
Sounds like rams could have a similar problem where they both think they want to kill each other
… but end up having sex?
Yeah, but i won’t get into the mechanics of how it all plays out. Ask the scientists for more information
This is even better than gay swans
I just think that’s really nice.
oh i’m not being fooled today.
Sounds similar to the Hedgehog Dilemma.
