Idk how to explain this feeling but it’s a guttural reaction I have in my gut that is triggered whenever someone is trolling/mocking/being violently antagonistic towards something I care about, some people literally hate Linux for god’s sake, like man what am I to do? Give up my conscience? I hate when I can’t hold something in my hand, I want something physical, is it wrong? Idk, you all tell me. I want people in real life, I want plushies and cards, why is it wrong to ask just because it’s not that easily available to me? I hate AI, so do I hate social media and porn, and sex, and dating under prevailing dynamics, AI seems to bring these things more and more in front of my eyes, where I don’t want them. I don’t care how much leftists tell me AES countries love AI and are embracing it ‘intelligently’ as if a threat to congnitive abilities can be embraced inteligently, how much liberals tell me AI will give us UBI, how much conservatives tell me AI will bring about more jobs, I don’t care. Everyone can take their family-making, sex, porn, social media, AI, producvitiy and shove it where the sun never shines, I don’t give a fuck. Just stop fucking gaslighting me, separate those like me, we’ll live our own life, like please stop torturing me. It feels like everyone is after me but I always skort them by an edge.
You gotta go by the evergreen dudeism: “That’s just, like, your opinion, man.” So some rando doesn’t like Linux and likes porn. They’re just a rando, you’re not obligated to give their opinions weight. They’re not more important than you, their opinions don’t matter more than yours, so don’t treat them like they are.
That’s true however it’s like a finger everywhere I go it is like “suck my dick” “such a fucking beta” “such a cuck” seriously it’s oki the language of porn and logic of porn has reached the very depth of the society. It’s like that with everything, how are you to tell that someone is put together? If they have a nuclear family. Like it is not that one rando triggers this problem on their own but the fact that I seem to be surrounded with it and then another rando says it.
It mostly feels like the world has this fierce duty that it passionately upholds to be apathetic towards me.
I was daydreaming recently about how angry it makes me to not feel listened to. It relates to how, when I do jiu jitsu, people don’t have the luxury of ignoring me because plan A is to grab their lapel and toss them into the air before I fold their spine into a bow for the trouble. It makes me thankful that I’m already good at BJJ because it gives me a timeless, physical outlet to express myself when life isn’t going good. People have been wrestling since time immemorial after all.
Until the day I learn how to stop taking it personally through therapy, I get a reprieve from thinking about it and a place where I cannot be ignored, contained, or condescended to from behind a fancy title.
That really is a good way to let it all out, thanks a lot for sharing it! I will consider something like that myself!
