When you die for the American Empire, your obituary will be a series if product placement ads.
https://x.com/FugeusRedux/status/2081373419560468879
Be a smart boot. Quit or desert.
I could maybe look past the first bit about legos and football because that’s just how you would describe most boring cis het millennial men.
But damn, the soap?? Saying he always smelled good or he cared about his hygiene, those are traits. But he liked one specific man soap brand and that’s how you should remember him.
This burial is brought to you by dude wipes.
when your dude gets wiped in war, clean his dead body parts with dude wipes before you bury them!
After his valuable semen is harvested, you’re going to want to wipe up…
WITH DUDE WIPES
omg lol
he loved wiping his ass in a straight and masculine way
popsicle scented
But he liked one specific man soap brand
They mean he never actually washed properly and always stank, but insisted he was fine because of his man soap.
OK I’ll bite, wtf is “shatto milk”
glup shatto
Its quirkily branded milk advertised by content creators. The Blue Chew of dairy products if you will.
Maybe it’s because I’m in Missouri and am not on social media but I’ve never seen any advertisement for Shatto. People over here love the weird flavors, between that and their unique glass bottle deposit system that every KC grocery store does creates a lot of word of mouth around here
from Missouri
I live in Kansas City, they’re a high quality and interesting dairy company known for selling unique flavors of milk in glass bottles you bring back to the store to get your bottle deposit back.
I’ve always loved their rootbeer milk since I was a kid
Also Missouri folks, wtf is shitto milk
It’s one of those big regional dairys that likes to pretend they’re a teensy little farm being rub by mom and pop
They also make this abomination
Centcom official twitter:
warfighter killed in explosion caused by Shatto cotton candy milk in his bowels. No casualties or damage caused by Iranian ballistic missile strike
Bet he Shatto his pants
they made pilk into a real thing
oooow my bones
Yeah, I was torn between the cotton candy or this
Root beer plus dairy works in a root beer float, I guess?
From Kansas City, I love root beer milk. I don’t get it often, but last time I hit a big sobriety milestone I bought myself a bottle
I do gotta say though, I am absolutely obsessed with Tillamook, they make Shatto look like dogshit lol
Wow… That makes me so glad that I left Missouri and never looked back.
It’s like they are describing an 8 year old boy
I sense they’re fine with it. they’re that far gone
she is probably gunning for a brand sponsorship or some free shit out of this. wouldn’t be surprised if she has a podcast soon
