Indeed, the only good post about HP at all comes to us from an anon (of all possible people) systematically dismantling the liberalism inherent to the work:
Cannot imagine a better indictment.
my first thought
My Immortal is like the defining high art shitpost.
Harry Potter should have carried an M1911
Ok, this has been driving me crazy for seven movies now, and I know you’re going to roll your eyes, but hear me out: Harry Potter should have carried a 1911.
Here’s why:
Think about how quickly the entire WWWIII (Wizarding-World War III) would have ended if all of the good guys had simply armed up with good ol’ American hot lead.
Basilisk? Let’s see how tough it is when you shoot it with a .470 Nitro Express. Worried about its Medusa-gaze? Wear night vision goggles. The image is light-amplified and re-transmitted to your eyes. You aren’t looking at it–you’re looking at a picture of it.
Imagine how epic the first movie would be if Harry had put a breeching charge on the bathroom wall, flash-banged the hole, and then went in wearing NVGs and a Kevlar-weave stab-vest, carrying a SPAS-12.
And have you noticed that only Europe seems to a problem with Deatheaters? Maybe it’s because Americans have spent the last 200 years shooting deer, playing GTA: Vice City, and keeping an eye out for black helicopters over their compounds. Meanwhile, Brits have been cutting their steaks with spoons. Remember: gun-control means that Voldemort wins. God made wizards and God made muggles, but Samuel Colt made them equal.
Now I know what you’re going to say: “But a wizard could just disarm someone with a gun!” Yeah, well they can also disarm someone with a wand (as they do many times throughout the books/movies). But which is faster: saying a spell or pulling a trigger?
Avada Kedavra, meet Avtomat Kalashnikova.
Hermione Gunger
EDIT:
Open Carry Potter
Where’s Gun Weasley?
Or DoubleBarreldorf?
My friends and I, years ago, had a conversation about “What if the American wizard school was in the Triwizard Tournament”?
For the dragons, Harry has his broom. Chud Bugsley, the American wizard has “Accio, 50 Caliber anti-material rifle” and then there’s a big hole where the dragon’s chest used to be. Fastest time, by far.
When they go underwater, there’s probably some kinda magic to make a machine gun work underwater. Or a harpoon gun. Either way, bloody mermaids start floating to the top of the lake, and all four hostages are rescued. Sure, Hogwarts is upset that some of their employees are now dead, but they shouldn’t have threatened Chud. He stood his ground.
During the maze, none of the other competitors are going to even try. After all, Chud is just SO far ahead of everyone else, why even bother? He gets a flamethrower, burns down the whole hedge maze, along with any of the hazards planned for the competitors. He touches the trophy, and gets teleported away. The Death Eaters are confused about why Harry is not there, followed by a look of terror when they realize who actually IS there. His words for what happened there? “So anyways, I started blasting”.
Harry Potter fanfics apparently have some real gems precisely because the world building was shit and the ending was anticlimactic. It invites you to improve upon it. Still one of the mainstay answers when someone requests that people stop consuming Rowling for TERF reasons is “I’m still gonna read the fanfic”.
Seems to be the case for every piece of fiction with weak world building. I remember RWBY having some very good fanfiction as well.
Is this a dig at our boi big yud
The only thing you need to know about that fanfic
CW for racism
There had been ten thousand societies over the history of the world where this conversation could have taken place. Even in Muggle-land it was probably still happening, somewhere in Saudi Arabia or the darkness of the Congo. It happened in every place and time that didn’t descend directly from the Enlightenment.
Hpmor is mostly just Enders Game with Harry Potter names.
idk, Harry Potter and the Methods of Rationality is a pretty high-effort shitpost.
To me though, something like Methods of Rationality reflects the inhetent vacuousness of the text, even if it is funny. It’s not exactly as transcendent as For Guidance, Please See the Corporate Interpersonal Relationship Policy for example. Now that’s art.
Edit: wait…
Official CBC Canada Reads Selection 2019, made possible by the generous support of the Canada Council for the Arts and the Ottawa Tourism Board.
What the fuck. Why is Klanada such a big exporter of yaoi? I hate this so much
Hp fanfiction can be linked to several murders though. So that’s something
Sometimes you gotta be the change you want to see in the world ;)
