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Wow, y’all are ruthless (i wonder where Ruth went!)
My first 2 or 3 loaves ever kinda looked a bit like this way back when I first started too.
Failure or the first step to success. Otherwise, it’s just luck.
Fuck Reddit and Fuck Spez.
The bread is “cheesed”.
There was too much water and too hot when the dough was mixed - flour appears to be cooked, like choux pastry - which implies the yeast died instantly and never leavened the bread.
Then there as a failed attempt to rescue the dough by addind more flour. There is a tentative crumb texture along the cut area.
And finally, the oven was too cold. Or, even worst, the bread was put in the oven at a low temperature or while it was heating to force the dough to rise.
That bread, and we are being very generous by refering to it as such, is dangerous to eat atop being an obvious disappointment. A bit of heart burn, if they were lucky, serious diarrhoea if not.
This one bakes! 🫡
For nearly 20 years, now. Why buy if I can make it?
bake me a space shuttle! …please!
…Im not buying that! Too expensive!
Too dangerous. You’d eat it while using it. I can guess your plan. You want to go the moon and try that cheese.
Even though Im allergic to cheese…I kinda do wanna try that moon cheese though
Go for it. You can have my share.
That was part of my reasoning too. More cost effective to bake. Also fresh bread knocks out store bread.
Because I’m lazy and clumsy.
Lazy, I can understand. Being clumsy is not.
I’ve taught basic bread making to a guy while he was in the process of getting sloshed and he achieved it.
Bread maker, if you have a bit of extra space. We got one barely used off of marketplace for €35 (~65% cheaper than new). I throw ingredients in the basket and let it do its thing for 3 hours.
The best thing that happened to me in terms of bread making was learning that you could chuck ingredients in a bowl, mix them well, then throw it in a large Tupperware container and put it in the fridge. Magic happens overnight, something something fairies, and POOF! The next morning you have a usable dough!
Every Hanukkah I make about 15 loaves of challah for dinner and to give to family. Using the fridge this way has made my life so much easier.
For real? No kneading?
For real.
The flour only needs to be fully hydrated and mixed in with the yeast and salt.
Leave to rise in a cool place and the yeast does all the heavy lifting for you. Modern bread is forced to rise; traditional bread making relied on time to allow the dough to rise and mature, so to speak.
I’m not making bread but got into making pizza. I have a dough box which fits into. my fridge. I measure good flour, water, salt and yeast, give it a but in my household kitchen machine of kneading so it doesn’t warm up too much and then put it away.
Maybe I’ll try with practically no machnine kneading next time, just run the machine until everything is mixed well.
If it gets cooked above 165, what is the actual danger in eating it? Apart from… being a choking hazard from being probably a horrible texture, I mean. Why would you get heartburn or diarrhea from flour, water, and dead yeast that’s been baked to high temps?
The dough does not look, in any way, throughrouly cooked. Enough to have pockets in it where either living or dead yeast is deposited. That is enough to disturb your digestion, either by off-setting the pH in the stomach or by disturbing the intestinal bioma. That was why I said what I said.
Are there parts that do look cooked?
Along the cut you can see spots where a rough crumb seems to be trying to form. But properly cooked? No. That would be strait to the bin, for me.
Based on the crumb texture in the middle, it doesn’t look like it got fully baked I.e. the middle may have never reached safe temp
I didn’t have flour, so I used the closest thing I had: chalk. Could that have been the problem?
All I can say is that it had all the ingredients we gave you.
What more can you ask!?
I had to pause for a cackle
This looks like an unfired clay brick.
Just looking at that gives me the ick. It’s rare that something ostensibly edible, and as ordinary as bread (or something that’s supposed to be bread) can do that, that’s impressive.
I want to hear what recipe they followed and, more importantly, how closely they followed it. This reeks of “actually I substituted [completely ordinary ingredient you can buy at any convenience store even at 3am in the middle of nowhere for approximately 2 dollars] for [something that has no business being near this dish, let alone in this dish, but that they had in their cupboard], I don’t know why it turned out so awful though!”
I don’t think it’s more complicated than that they accidentally killed the yeast. Some recipes call for you to add the yeast to lukewarm water. But what I did once when I was around 12 was put the yeast into boiling water then wait for the water to become lukewarm and then add the flour. Of course that kills the yeast so the bread I got was basically that picture.
It could even be an innocent mistake like leaving the yeast package in a really hot car which can also kill the yeast. Or who knows the yeast may have been dead already in the store and this person has done absolutely nothing wrong.
This, along with something wrong with the heat. Why isn’t it browned? Did they steam this loafpocalypse? Maybe too much water, based on the tendrils along the sides.
I’m almost thinking this is a ragebait post.
I LOL’d at “loafpocalypse”
That’s why I never use the easybake type of yeast. You’d never know if it was dead until you actually set the dough to rise and nothing happens.
The regular dried yeast is so much better, because you activate it first, so you don’t waste time with the rest of it if it doesn’t activate.
If it was just dead yeast making it that stodgy, they should have noticed it wasn’t rising 😅😅
You can, and in my opinion, should proof instant yeast.
The ones we have here say not to and to mix it directly with the dough.
Ahhh, I’ve not had that issue happen yet myself, explains why this looked like cooking gone really, horribly awry to me and not something obvious.
“I didn’t have any wheat flour, so I used some minced cod I had been storing in the cutlery drawer for a few days”
Reminds me of !ididnthaveeggs@sh.itjust.works
I’m sad that the mod of that community seems to have given up on posting content to popularize it.
The recipe said flour, but I didn’t have any. So I used 4 pounds of marzipan instead.
Eh normal occurrence with gluten free bread that it will not get a brown crust
The duality of humankind >_>
I’m over here thinking that if you dust off the flour on the top and assuming the dense middle cooked through…
I’d take a bite, out of curiosity lol.
I’m reasonably sure it’s just severely undercooked.
That is not what bread dough is supposed to look like, though, even uncooked or undercooked. Am I nuts? Like, I’ve seen bread dough before, and that just looks… wrong, from my experience; but then I admit I don’t make my own bread very often.
I agree. It looks like an unleavened cake to me. That’s also greyish green.
Why is no one else pointing out the obvious color flaw? Why is it this color? What even is this color?
My guess is lighting combined with camera. I had a phone that tinted stuff greenish.
Boring but reasonable explanation
Looks chewy.
Love the sprinkle of flour as the finishing touch
It looks like it was boiled rather than baked
“Invention of Hardtack, Unknown, 1189, Colorized”
Hardtack?
If anyone actually has this happen, it’s your yeast being given too little time. Unrisen bread needs to be thin. Very thin. Like 3 crackers thick, tops.
As an aside, make crackers. You won’t regret it
As an aside, make crackers. You won’t regret it
Fertility advice for rednecks
I’m not american and I undertood that one. Top notch!
Me neither, but thanks! 😁
Or you’ve killed the yeast with high temperatures. It doesn’t matter how much time you let it sit if it’s dead.
Technically, it can loop all the way back around if you continue folding it for a few weeks. I mean, I wouldn’t eat a big ball of very questionable starter but it’s plausibly edible
I’m guessing that it’s this and it’s because they used water that was way too hot to bloom the yeast
I love baking some rosemary and black pepper into crackers
idk about crackers, but Savory is great in bread. It’s an italian spice but it grows in the north.
Ooh, that does sound nice. Savory is difficult to find where I am, and it’s usually winter savory if I can find it, but I will see if I can get some! Do you just mix it into the dough while kneading?
I used to put it in the dough when mixing it up. My new place here I planted some but it didn’t take and never got around to planting more.
But I think the stuff we had might have been winter savory as well. Not sure on the differences between the savory sub species in taste.
Unleavened bread, extra thick. Tastes great in the right conditions, but I wouldn’t recommend it long-term.
Looks like they just made a thick as fuck dough, shaped it into a loaf, and called it a day.
Looks like cookie dough lol
