Two-thirds of straight women and one-third of straight men are unwilling to date a bisexual person of the opposite sex, according to a YouGov poll published today, during Bisexuality Visibility Week. The poll illustrates how lingering stereotypes negatively affect people’s impressions of bisexual individuals.
The poll — which surveyed 5,983 Britons during late March, including 2,031 straight women and 1,517 straight men — found that 48% of all respondents had positive views of bisexual people and only 8% had negative views. The remaining percentage had neither a positive nor a negative view of bisexuals.
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When the survey asked straight women and men why they were unwilling to date a bisexual person of the opposite sex, most (16% and 19%, respectively) said they “just don’t” or claimed, “It’s just a preference.”
A nearly similar portion, 17% of straight women and 16% of straight men, said they felt like bi people are more inclined to cheat, or that they themselves would feel insecure that they’d be unable to provide a bi partner whatever they get from a same-sex partner.
Interestingly, 9% of straight women said they feel disgust or discomfort towards men with same-sex experiences, 8% worried about possible sexual health risks, and 10% of straight men said they considered bisexuality to be either religiously or morally “wrong.” Approximately 12-13% of all straight respondents said they just wanted their dating partner to be heterosexual.
When I was at my university’s last year I had a FWB relation with a woman from my class.
One day I was venting about my lack of success on online dating apps and asked her to review my profile.
After reviewing it she said “You should remove that you’re bi, it is not serious”, like I wasn’t looking for a proper relationship.
I had it in my profile for starters after people matching with me and later rejecting when they learned I was Bi.
I am not surprised.
The narrative that women are less homophobic than men never made any sense to me, because why would they?
That claim always - to me - seemed to be stereotyping women into sacred princesses who shit rainbows and fart breeze.
The overall observation that men are more homophobic than women is pretty established (source below). I believe what is happening here is that the overall lower attitude towards gay men compared to lesbian women is overshadowing the gender difference in overall homophobia.
Since its about heterosexuals, the study is only looking at
Women -> bi men & Men -> bi woman,
so even though women might be less hatefull overall, this is overshadowed by societies’ dislike of men who deviate from gender norms. Alternatively, being bi is less of a gender norm violation for women than it is for men (see last to sentences below).
Gender difference homophobia: Overview article (Godø et al, 2025):
Furthermore, studies have shown that on average, men tend to express more negative attitudes toward LGBT people compared to women (Cotton- Huston & Waite, 2000; Nagoshi et al., 2008). The cause of this gender difference may have various explanations. One potential explanation lies with the social construct of masculinity. Traditional masculinity is often associated with toughness, aggression, and dominance, and this may lead to men perceiving LGBT people as a threat to their own masculinity or power (Theodore & Basow, 2000). This resembles much of what is known as machismo, a culturally shaped and maintained belief in Latinx groups, con- sisting of both hypermasculine characteristics and familial responsibility (Hirai et al., 2014). Such beliefs may result in discomfort and hostility toward those who do not conform to traditional gender roles (Goodman & Moradi, 2008). This may also be connected to the fact that young men are often socialized to be more tough and competitive, while young women are encour- aged to be nurturing and empathetic. This can result in different attitudes toward LGBT people, with men being more likely to view it as deviant or abnormal. However, no single factor seems to be the cause of this gender difference; rather, it is a combined result of gender norms, socialization, and cultural beliefs.
Alternatively, being bi is less of a gender norm violation for women than it is for men
The other way around? More women express negative attitude toward Bi people than men?
studies have shown that on average, men tend to express more negative attitudes toward LGBT people compared to women
There is one more alternative explanation. Studies in question were shaped in a way that didn’t record women negative attitudes.
1.) “for women [who are bi, perceived by whomever]”. It’s quite tricky to talk about this correctly, because we are talking about gender differences relating both to perceivers and the perceived. I didn’t phrase that clearly.
2.) what you you mean with “shaped in a way that didn’t record women’s negative attitudes”? I don’t quite get that. That the items are phrased in a way that women just have a harder time agreeing, no matter what it is about?
From the current study the topic is about, we can see that there is a subset of LGBT people that women have more often negative view than men.
This stand in contrast with previous studies you shared.
That means either this new finding augments the older notion about attitudes split across genders (men have on average more negative attitude toward LGBT+ people, but something changed and now for Bi it’s women who are negativity forerunners), or how the old study was performed was inadequate to capture women negative attitude towards bi people since then, e.g. the study didn’t check unwillingness to date bi people.
(Then being 2000 and 2008)
Edit: actually, now that I’ve read the 2000 and 2008 study - performed on undergrads I call both of those studies worthless. WEIRD bias is a thing.
For women to perform, not in women’s views. I.e. being a bi woman is less of a violation of the idea of womanhood than being a bi man is manhood.
I remember when I was a teen trying to figure myself out I came out to my parents as gay and they were supportive. But eventually I had a couple of girlfriends and after I had brought one of them home mom told me I should pick one team and stick with it because bi guys are icky.
She said it in such an offhand way that she probably doesn’t remember, but that’s the kind of thing that sticks with you. She believed that bisexual men were willing to fuck anything without standards which would lead to me being either deranged or diseased.
Joke’s on her though: I’m so bad at picking teams I didn’t even grow up to be a man
“Pick a team” ……ugh I’m so sorry she was so flippant during such a formable time in your life.
Had a good laugh at your last line though :)
I don’t even intend to come out to my family. (That statement does not only apply to my orientation.) And it wouldn’t help that they’ve never seen me in relationship with someone not perceived as a woman. (Although I’ve been perceived as a gay man at some times for reasons I don’t really know.)
What was I trying to say? That I sympathise with you.
I’ve observed this in some women’s groups over time - this aversion to bisexual men - and it’s always so disappointing to see it come up. There are women I’ve had to pull away from because of these views that bisexual men are somehow tainted or too feminine or whatever flavor of homophobic reasons they use to reject people based on an immutable trait.
There is so much internalized biphobia in our society. A lot of men sexualize bi women and think dating one means they will get threesomes. On the other side, a lot of women are convinced that bi men are twice as likely to cheat, or that they will eventually leave you for a man. And this kind of biphobia is present as well within the LGBTQ+ community, this is not inherent to straight people.
You’re right, biphobia is not found in straight people alone. I’ve been rejected within my own community because I’m bisexual and not a “gold star” lesbian. It stings even more that way to be honest.
Don’t forget they also think bi men are just making a stop before getting off at full-on-gay town.
And what sucks is I’ve seen multiple times, men are generally more guilty of their homophobic views than women. Women will show a surface level support(most men don’t do that) but they are almost as homophobic, and blatantly so when given a chance to open up.
I’m not sure men feel more guilty about their homophobic views, they’re just more upfront about them lol
Yes, it is distressing to join up with other women thinking they are a safe space and come to find out they hold beliefs that are inherently biphobic. Even if they feel like their views only extend to bisexual men, it does extend to all bisexuals.
It’s that men generally exaggerate their homophobia to fit in groups, whereas women hide theirs better till they’re in places where they feel their views would go unchallenged. Also yeah, comparing men’s homophobia and women’s is comparing apples to oranges.
It’s like, they are more guilty, but they better be for the kind of shit they’ve said.
deleted by creator
i’d say that people are allowed to decide who they’re sexually attracted to. you can’t ask a person B to be attracted to person A, e.g. if person A is bi.
protection against discrimination applies at different levels, especially to be treated right by the law (state) and employer (especially if it’s a big enough company). but people can still choose who they spend time with in their free time.
It’s just too general and unrelated to actual relationship dynamics to make sense. If they don’t tell you they’re bi, you might never find out. If the reason for not wanting to date someone whos bi is that you’re not comfortable with your partner finding the same people attractive that you do, then weird but I think that’d be something sorta valid.
The reasons given are all on a scale of biphobia to just misunderstanding it (e.g. the insecurity). The more general answers might be personal hangups, but those too are likely rooted in a culture that sees bi people negatively.
Yes, people have every right to choose who they spend time with, but if they are choosing to reject all people of a specific group because of their sexual orientation, it is still a preference rooted in homophobia. Whether they’re conscious of it or not.
what if they reject dating all people of the specific group of being a man/woman? is that gay-phobia in your eyes?
Are you talking about gays and lesbians?
All people have a right to be treated with honesty, dignity, and respect, and not disclosing how you identify before I decide to have sex with you or not is a part of that.
I’ve dated bi guys, and my main objection is they didn’t inform me prior (except for one, and he really was promiscuous, and didn’t inform me about that), then wondered why I had a problem when I learned of their boyfriends, after months or years of unprotected sex.
These things stayed with me and put me off BI guys, altogether. It’s not fair, but it’s unfair to me to put myself through it again, after all that, so im simply not. There’s too much baggage after too many years.
That said, I have been volcel almost four years because straight men are the same, and I’m sick of dealing with doting mothers who encourage bad behaviour, and mothers whose children can’t do anything right and are dammed if you do, dammed if you don’t, either… Including mine.
In a world where intense couples counseling and willing partners were to be found (rather than those few who appear willing for appeasement, wasting time, effort, money), I may, or not. But I can navigate friendships easier because of no emotional investment in romance, so it’s just better that way. Plus I prefer monogamy.
Iow, it’s complicated.
I’ve dated bi guys, and my main objection is they didn’t inform me prior (except for one, and he really was promiscuous, and didn’t inform me about that), then wondered why I had a problem when I learned of their boyfriends, after months or years of unprotected sex.
I’m honestly asking - do you require straight men to be forthright about how many women they slept with previously? Why not ask for a recent STI panel instead of their sexual history?
I said nothing about “previously.”
I said they didn’t inform me they were bi, didn’t inform me they’re promiscuous (promiscuity being in common with straights).
And I have asked for mutual testing, which didn’t stop the ones who agreed from cheating and being caught.
they didn’t inform me prior
Apologies, this is what I read as “previously”. That they didn’t inform you before you started sleeping with them, not that they were cheating on you or not disclosing they were continuing to sleep with others.
I have a right to know if a potential partner is bi, just as they have the right to know I’m cis. This is how honest conversations about expectations for any relationship that may develop begin. And I get that it’s probably not appropriate at the first or fourth date, and why people may not want to disclose that. Just like I get relationships are built on trust, but that leap of faith has to happen sometime, or just disclose that it doesn’t seem a compatible match. 🤷♀️
I think the only problem I have with any of this is assuming all bisexual men will act the same because they are bisexual. Or because they’re men. I do still believe everyone has a right to date whom they want to be clear.
I feel uneasy with that first line “I have a right to know if a potential partner is bi”. I have to sit with that for a minute before I can fully explain why that makes me uncomfortable.
I think you would have to have a deep cultural understanding of the rural deep south village of a couple of hundred deeply indoctrinated people. In a perfect world, it would be different. In a different community or location it may be different.
It’s not any of those and every failure and all the work gets dumped on women anyway, when when people know it’s the man’s proclivities. This is still the times women who go nowhere and have no friends are expected to “agree” she infected her man, rather than her promiscuous man infecting her and still don’t know where it came from, and will continue to infect women knowing they’re infected because, “a man’s going to be a man.”
@Maeve @velma I firmly disagree with the statement “I have a right to know if a potential partner is bi”.
There are no reason for anyone to be entitled to knowing a potential partner’s sexual orientation or potential transidentity. That works for other private info.
Said potential partners, however, have the right to flee those who ask.
You prefer knowing it, because of your traumatic experiences, that’s vastly different. Understandable need, and it **can** be better to discuss it, but still not a right.
One has no reason to trust a mere “potential partner” with such a sensitive info. Especially in a place with strong anti-lgbt social standards or laws.
Not even I know if I’m bi. I haven’t figured this shit out yet.
People saying it’s some male fetish thing also fall for the “girls and boys are entirely new species” idea a bit.
Women are people too. Women make up 47% of gay porn watchers. It’s normal.
Real reason is likely something else. Should probably ask cis, hetero women instead of speculating.
Consuming gay porn is different than dating someone for the sexual acts they want based on the person’s sexual orientation.
It’s fine to watch threesome porn. Not ok to fetishisize someone you’re dating.
I never understood the bi hate. Even before I ever met a bi person, it seemed easy to understand - they’re sexually attracted to either gender. Whether or not someone is a cheater type is completely separate and has nothing to do with it.
I think some people see cheating as not an attribute of the cheater, but rather an attribute of the person they cheat with. As in, they think that anyone would cheat if a sufficiently attractive person came along. And thus for bi people the chance is twice as high.
On the other hand, if you managed to get in a relationship with a bi person, shouldn’t you feel doubly confident, since you were chosen from twice as large a pool?
Eh, I don’t get it either
For real. It’s like saying people who like all hair colours are gonna cheat because their partner has only one hair colour. It’s just not how that works.
—A poly bi woman
I like all genders and all body types and skin/hair colors. Never cheated.
Where’s my parade?
If only Neo could have seen Morpheus in his early days.
(Joke comment.) If I count facial hair, I have several hair colours. I won’t be cheated on by my partn… oh, I’m the bi poly one in the couple, and she only has one colour. (Or two, because of our age.) Shit I’m essetially condemned to cheat on her with a rainbow wig. (End of the joke.)
Yeah, and strangely none among the cheaters and the cheating apologists I personnally know claimed to be anything other than mono cishet. Strange (sarcasm) how direspectful and harmful behaviour linked to an expression of power are most seem in the dominant group.
Maybe its insecurity wrapped up with thinking sex is the main driver in a relationship, and thinking a partner could have twice as many options that aren’t you makes them feel even worse. I dunno.
“thinking sex is the main driver in a relationship” Yeah, this belief is too widespread. I feel for ace folks. And for aro folks too, since the same take is often made about romantic love. (Disclaimer: I’m neither.)
There are many potential driving factors in relationships. Can be sex, can be romantic love, can be another kind of love, can be trust, etc. Also, friendship is a perfectly valid kind of relationship too.
It can also be harmful things in the case of toxic relationship. Example: being convinced one’s partner will cheat because they’re bi. But as such relationships mostly bring harm, they’re best avoided. (Not easy because of psychological control/domination mechanics.)
sex is the main driver in a relationship
Is it?
Sex can be the main driver in a relationship, but generally isn’t. In my experience, we spend less than an hour getting down, and the rest of the day doing other stuff while relating.
But I’ve been in, and seen others in booty-call relationships where their parter comes over to fool around and then leaves once everyone is satisfied, usually after a light snack or a smoke.
No
I think one of the contributing factors must be the deeply ingrained traditional relationship roles reinforced by culture.
Men often care more about “proxy” contacts (i.e. “my girl fucked with another man some time in the past, ew”), which is how we got so much virginity culture and all the unscientific bullshit around past contacts of women. They are also often easier to feel sexual about any given woman, and many want, secretly or openly, to have sex with many, either genuinely or as an internalized proof of superior masculinity.
Combine the two and you may get one of the answers. Some men enjoy having sex with their girl partner knowing she had engaged in it with other girls, that fuels their fantasies based on that “proxy sex” with other women, and there may also be fantasies about this arrangement turning into threesome.
At the same time, women are traditionally taught to laser-focus on a partner and keep them laser-focused on them, and so bisexuality feels like a man’s excuse to slip from these norms and claim it’s not the same. It’s also fueled by misconception that bisexual people necessarily need partners of both genders at the same time instead of them just having a larger pool to choose from.
Any bisexual man knows this. Painfully.
Straight guy here from /all. Unfortunately, a big chunk of my cohort will have responded favorably because they are dreaming of a female partner that will gift them a threesome.
When they get active about it, it’s called unicorn hunting since women who are willing to threesome with a couple (or more exactly, with you and your partner) are rare like a unicorn.
My ex-wife of twelve years is bi, but also strictly monogamous, and certainly not interested in threesomes.
And they, too, are engaging in biphobia with that logic.
Not sure that’s how a “phobia” works.
Sociology concepts named “something-phobia” are not the same thing as the similarly named concepts (classified in the “phobia” family) in psychology and psychatry.
Usually, meaning can vary with context. The discussed field in such a context.
So what you’re saying is that enough people couldn’t care less for the actual meaning of the word that we’re all now supposed to accept it. Gotcha.
“Chocolatine”, “pain au chocalat”, “croissant au chocolat”, ou “petit pain”? (Edit to answer: all are valid, it is simply a regional dialect thing.) Is a tomato a fruit or a vegetable? (Edit to answer: it depends on the field. A vegetable in gastronomy, a fruit in biology, where “vegetable” doesn’t even exist.)
Your interventions on the topic of biphobia are as valuable as these pseudo-debates. Keep your language normative freezing for your own expression, instead of policing the language of other people, and diverting from the heart of the discussed topic (again, biphobia).
EDIT: and I will not engage with you anymore.
Removed by mod
Your submission in “Most straight women don’t want to date bi guys, but most straight men are open to bi women” was removed for Shit-stirring.
If someone meant something in particular by the words they used, your preference for different word definitions/usage does not change what they meant. So yeah, accepting that people mean what they mean is good, because the options are just understanding or not understanding.
Well yeah, that’s how semantic drift happens and it only seems weird because you’re thinking about it,so much of the core of our language exists because of historic examples just like this.
Except that this is not some new meaning or word. It’s just misuse.
Bi-phobia encompasses negative attitudes, beliefs, and behaviours towards bisexual individuals. It manifests in various forms, including erasure of bisexuality, stereotyping, harassment, and exclusion. This prejudice often stems from misconceptions and societal stigmas surrounding non-monosexual orientations.
Exactly, negative attitudes. Being polyamorous, liking threesomes or being promiscuous is not a negative thing, it’s just a preference. Hence why this is just simple prejudice, not “biphobia”.
Encompasses negative attitudes, beliefs, and behaviors towards bisexual individuals.
encompass verb
1 : to include as a part of a whole or group
Almost like languages change over time, amiright?
Doth thou jest with me?
It’s biphobic to assume that bisexual women all want threesomes.
We can debate about if there’s a better word for leaning into harmful stereotypes of bisexual people, but the closest term we have currently is biphobia.
It’s biphobic to assume that bisexual women all want threesomes.
would downvote if i could. potustheplant didn’t say that “all women want threesomes”, only that some men hope that some women want threesomes.
His argument is that it isn’t biphobia to assume bisexual women want threesomes because “phobia” means fear of.
Those men are being biphobic if they are dating a bisexual person with the express interest of them being a sex doll willing to do threesomes with them because of their sexual orientation.
Those men in the example are also misogynistic at the same time.
Nothing surprising, since different kinds of scorns, hates, discriminations, etc often come together.
According to some of these comments, it’s not discriminatory as long as it’s a man desiring his partner to perform threesomes because it’s positive discrimination or some shit like that.
That’s stereotyping or prejudice. Phobia (in its origin) means fear or dread. Maybe prejudice too but specifically in a negative way (no, prejudice doesn’t always have a negative connotation).
Biphobia (monosexism) refers to stigma, prejudice, and discrimination toward those who are bisexual
If prejudice doesn’t always have a negative connotation, then the assumption that all bisexual women are into threesomes still falls under ‘biphobia’.
When referring to phobia yes, it does have a negative connotation. Use it however you want I guess. People misuse words all the time.
When does a use different from the most ancient one stop being called a “misuse”? Especially talking about not a word, but its etymology?
Pretty sure a significant quantity of the words you use were at some point described as “misuses”, “mistakes”, or something similar.
I say that as someone who hates seeing/hearing scandals be called “something-gate” in reference to Nixon’s Watergate scandal. Same with “something-ception” in reference to the movie Inception. So I understand the feeling, but this kind of take mostly contribute to elitism.
What matters most in any language is the ability to communicate, not the conformity to a (potentially idealised) static snapshot of the language rules.
Word meanings also evolve over time and usage. They’re not static.
Bi people are some of the coolest people I know. Their loss, more for us.
<3
This is especially interesting when you consider that a lot of people are on the bi spectrum. Straights who think gays can “choose” to be straight? Mkay, keep telling us how you’re choosing to ignore that your gay desires.
This is probably one of the reasons for that. If you’re 90% hetero why “taint” yourself by experimenting if that’s going to limit your dating pool for the gender you’re more interested in.
I’m a straight woman who very briefly dated a bi guy. I never cared. It felt like none of my business who he had been with before me. He was an absolute sweetheart, and I miss him dearly.
@lonefighter @velma
“It felt like none of my business who he had been with before me.”
True, that’s private stuff. Only parts of it that may be important to share are those that will objectively impact the relationship. (Stalker ex, for example.)Also to add for others, being bi does not mean having a sexual history with partners of at least two genders. It does not even mean having any sexual history at all.
I felt compelled to add this to account for bi erasure.
Really salient points, thank you!
What happen to him?
I was dealing with some mental health struggles and really horrible life events and he tried to be there for me but I ended up inadvertently taking things out on him and he quite justifiably ended things. I apologized, he forgave me, we still text every few months and are on friendly terms, but that bridge is burned forever and I’m still low key heartbroken about it because he is a good dude.
Sorry to hear that, was just glad to know he still with us.
Having a friend like that is a blessing.
I thought the whole point of this last decade+ is that people should take what they can get.
Oh wait, I forgot about the homophobic propaganda.
would downvote if i could. there’s no evidence that “homophobic propaganda” makes up for the people who don’t want a bi partner. i’m pretty sure that people can have their own opinions and feelings without having to attribute everything to propaganda.
Their personal preferences are rooted in homophobia whether they’re conscious of it or not if they refuse to date someone because of that person’s sexual orientation.
Bisexual people are not different from straight people in any meaningful sense when it comes to monogamous relationships.
It’s nice when the trash sorts itself though.
While it says only Britons participated in the online poll, IIRC this trend persists in the US. That said, It’s frustrated by recent alignment of social cleavages through extreme cultural polarization on top of the ongoing crisis of sexual violence by straight men. The favored explanation I recall pertained to fear of STIs and bisexual men being presumed gay in straight culture, but that may be an obsolete theory today.
Personally I had good experiences dating bisexual men, but I was never straight
