Never had penetrative sex so I can’t speak to that, but I remember the first time I fooled around fondly. However, those fond memories aren’t about the acts themselves (which were predictably clumsy and not that pleasurable) but about the vulnerable intimacy afterwards. Just being naked in front of someone and feeling perfectly safe, without judgment, fully accepted regardless of any perceived physical imperfections. It’s those tender moments which I cherish, especially as there have been precious few moments since where I’ve felt truly accepted for who I am.