When I was young I was always grossed out by my penis, it felt weird and wrong. I didn’t understand it at the time but eventually I realized why. I never had any urges to wear lipstick or makeup though, I actually hate makeup, and don’t really care for wearing dresses or feminine clothes. I thought I was a weird person because of it, and it’s part of the reason I was stuck in denial as long as I was. Thankfully I was able to break the egg, come out, and eventually get on DIY HRT (my doctors refused to prescribe it to me because I wouldn’t “dress as a woman” like they wanted).