I heard she wants a ewe, maybe she’s getting into sheep’s milk or something

She’s into carpentry and cabinetry, so maybe some yew would be a good gift?

Dis fuckin’ guy

Communist revolution. Worst case, she’ll give it away the very next day

Poo

I tried to send Mariah Carey what she said she wanted for Christmas and she filed a restraining order against me

Not a lot

Get in touch with John Hinckley, he’s got some cool gift ideas.

Maybe season tickets to the San Diego Padres?