Someone I respect told me recently this rule is problematic and shouldn’t be used. Not saying I agree with them but it doesn’t seem to be as universally accepted as I thought.
Very curious why, since it feels very accurate for the 16-26 range (i.e. same 4 year gap is very different from a 19 and 15 year old vs 24 and 20 year old)
I’d probably go with amount of control one person can have over another. If both people are materially and independently secure (housing, food etc), and neither’s position in life is contingent on the other’s approval (e.g. teacher/student, boss/worker etc), then its probably fine. Or at least, more likely to be fine than a hard and fast age rule. There’s a lot of psychological fuckery that can still go on, but how would one assess that from the outside?
Someone I respect told me recently this rule is problematic and shouldn’t be used. Not saying I agree with them but it doesn’t seem to be as universally accepted as I thought.
Very curious why, since it feels very accurate for the 16-26 range (i.e. same 4 year gap is very different from a 19 and 15 year old vs 24 and 20 year old)
Some people do “half your age plus ten”, some do “keep it within ten years difference” or “keep it within five”.
I’d probably go with amount of control one person can have over another. If both people are materially and independently secure (housing, food etc), and neither’s position in life is contingent on the other’s approval (e.g. teacher/student, boss/worker etc), then its probably fine. Or at least, more likely to be fine than a hard and fast age rule. There’s a lot of psychological fuckery that can still go on, but how would one assess that from the outside?