- cross-posted to:
- dadforaminute@lemmy.world
- cross-posted to:
- dadforaminute@lemmy.world
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Maybe 4? Less than I thought.
A lot of these are just normal things people say. Like, “what’s the damage” is just a normal way to ask a price in English.
A lot of these are default reactions in Germany (also by women).
damn. I must have kids somewhere !
(add it to the list)
Eight-ish? Dad of two nearing fifty so I guess I’m on par for the course.
One is discovered thanks to US memes is the dad uniform including New Balance. I bought some NB when I was in China and I have to say they really are comfy.
The one about awkward loads is hilarious to me. Because it really is true though. You can lift a shit ton more if you’ve a good grip! I can hardly lift a washing machine, but I can carry one on my back without issue.
Zero points actually.
Maybe “horses”, thats at least a bit possible since I would notice and look at them.
I don’t know, can you?
Answering yes to a one or the other question
Monty Python and/or Naked Gun quotes
I like to yell “HEY!” and point at a field full of hay bales. The wife almost always looks briefly concerned until she sees it, and then gives me the “a-doy” look. I think she secretly loves it though.
Try shouting “Jesus!” when you see a church with a sign about Jesus.
I’m a childless dude in his 40s and I tick several if you replace “kids” with other family/coworkers/etc.
4½ out of 20 for me. I really need to step up my game!
My dad always said “let’s rock and/or roll” for departure.
I yearn to say “In the pipe, five by five” but I don’t have the right public for that quote :/
That’s … comms talk, right? 5×5 means max strength and clarity, I think. In the pipe, not so clear.
It’s when you are being double penetrated by 2 guys with average sized penises.
I only have one of these. And all my coworkers tell me I have the best dad jokes. I kind of feel like a fraud.
3:
“Glad we’re not going that way…” : I say that often
“It’s not heavy, just awkward.” : I don’t say it often, but I’ve said it before… more than once. I’ve also said “Yea, it’s heavy.”
“People don’t know how to drive in this town.” : Not those exact words, but I think about it EVERY time I’m on a certain road. If there’s someone in the car, they’re going to hear me complain. It’s almost always about the same two issues too… driving under the speed limit in the left lane, and not having any idea how to merge into a different lane… If you can’t merge, you should not be driving.
People don’t know how to drive in this town.
Its genuinely true in much of America. I didn’t realize how bad it was until I left the north east.
Just say Don’t know how to drive on this planet, because that will cover it.
Nah, New England drivers are generally pretty good, I have yet to see a Japanese driver do something dumb. Vietnamese drivers are so good they need to handicap themselves by ignoring all traffic laws while texting and driving a clapped out motorbike after drinking 4+ beers.
I always say “flock of cows” to bait someone into saying “herd of cows” so that I can say “of course I’ve heard of cows!” Watching their faces is priceless.
In my language, there’s different words for body parts of animals versus humans. Like “paws” and “hands”. There’s one exception: horses should use the human words. I always use the animal form just to have people correct me
I do this from time to time but with bison. I will casually slip “flock of bison” into a conversation hoping someone corrects me to “herd of bison”. So I can say. “No I hadn’t heard about your bi son. You must be so proud.”
there’s a chance the flock of cows would just pass me by unnoticed as i wrangle the conversation in my head and then hours later i realize something off about it in the shower or in bed
I use school of deer when spotting deer and things like herd, pod or flock of fish while fishing.
Damn, I’m friggin super-mega-dad over here. I also literally typed this with one finger
