- cross-posted to:
- dadjokes@lemmy.world
- cross-posted to:
- dadjokes@lemmy.world
cross-posted from: https://lemmy.world/post/44773652
What’s your Dad Score?
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All of them are optional, except, “That’s not going anywhere.” If you don’t pat it, and say that, it’s coming off 100%.
With an “ope” or “whelp”
Midwesternism intensifies
Pointing at horses isn’t optional as well. They’re horses!
We call horses, sheep and cows: hay bales. I forget what it was but there were some neat looking hay bales on a drive (like I don’t know, all I saw were the cows) and my wife said “look at the hay bales”. I would say she isn’t living it down but it’s usually her saying it now. Inside jokes and all.
Thanks to I forget who on here, children walking home from school are geese. I should have screenshote that
I use *whistle* "that looks secure“
I see you are also likely a fan of Craig Alanson’s ExForce novels!
I’ve heard every one of those, but none of them are “dad things”.
TIL i am dad with 0 kids
Hello fellow honorary dads
Guess I’m an honorary female dad
I’m a grunkie and a godfather/godthing. I’ll take the certified honorary dad
I’ve never been in this community before, but it seems very wholesome - thank you all for helping others <3
some of the above jokes are a bit meh, but i got intrigued by one specific thing, specifically the “heating the whole neighbourhood” thing when a door is left open. i’ve never asked my parents about energy bills (they are very chill otherwise!) and now i’m wondering.
how come the thermostate is a big thing? Is it primarily costs as mentioned, or are there other things in terms of comfort? Does it depend on the climate?
i’m aware of the energy crises, but even outside of those, you’d hear that kind of remarks. i pay like $100/mo for energy, so idk if it’s just me.
They really are great! I’d be totally stuck without their DIY advice and pep talks
how come the thermostate is a big thing?
Basically heating and cooling beyond equilibrium temp has a very non-linear costs. You could run whole house AC 100% at 3-5 kw per hour to get your house 6-10 degrees colder at a cost of $400-$1200 per month.
Oh wow, that explains a lot! The energy bills here are fixed and revised only once a year (you may get billed a bit extra at the end of the year if you used a lot), but that makes sense.
For a bigger house in a hot climate, it can be a significant expense. Additionally, air conditioners typically can’t cool beyond a certain differential, so letting all the cold out means you might not be able to get the house down to where you want it any time soon.
Energy ain’t cheap but it’s not the world’s biggest expense either. Mostly we’re getting after you for it cause ours got after us for it.
When you have your own place you can heat the outdoors all you like
Sometimes things really aren’t that heavy, but they’re difficult to carry because they’re awkward. The weight is distributed unevenly. Warning others who may be handling it is just basic safety.
Or just too large to grip.
Yup, big weird objects. Like I literally just need a second person to hold the other end. Zero muscles required.
Doesn’t even have to be weight distribution. It’s much easier to deadlift/clean something with a centered handle you cannot throw off balance than the same weight in something shaped even like a grabbable cube, let alone something large or uneven.
The quintessential example is a limp body. You could be strong enough to lift their weight over head in weights form, but as soon as it’s a long sack of potatoes it can even be a struggle to get it on a shoulder.
I get a two. I use “Let’s rock and roll” when it’s time to leave, and I point out horses (or other farm animals) when driving by them.
But as a former cashier, anyone who says the first one (“Guess it’s free then”) tests my willpower. Those people have no idea how lucky they are that employees aren’t allowed to smack customers.
I just use “not again. I swear the damn computers break when I walk in the room”
Which is also kind of true.
These also apply to French dads, remarkably. Being a dad is international 🌍✌️🕊️
“Time to get a watch” (when someone asks what time it is)
I’m guilty of all of them except the “heating the whole neighborhood “ thing. I always hated when my dad said that.
I feel attacked
Also this image needs “calling everything ‘bad boy’”
Also this
imagebad boy needs “calling everything ‘bad boy’”
Look horses and Glad we’re not going that way are not dad-specific
Hey look it’s half of Charlie Berens’ set.
14…
I prefer waiting until the kid who is taking too long in the bathroom is done and then asking “Did everything come out okay?”
This feels too much like a real question to be a dad joke.
6/20, guess I didn’t grow up in the place this was based off of.
11/20. Frick.
15/20 frack,
I’d say your winning this one. Bet your glad you’re not going my direction.
