School has started and my teen refuses to use an alarm, leaving me to do the wakeup myself. As thr door is locked, I cannot gently awaken them. So, I decided music was great and chose the following 3 songs (played in this order and the reaction):
- Viva La Vida - Coldplay
- [quiet groans from inside, no movement]
- Baby Shark
- [whimpers and the sound of pillows shuffling]
- Welcome to the Jungle - Guns & Roses
- [door flew open, I was forced to flee]
So three songs seems to be the sweet spot. I’d like to keep it fresh and change daily so they can’t adapt. Please give me your 3-song playlist so I can continue to psychologically torture wake my child for school every day.
Do what my grandpa did when he wanted to wake me up. He’d throw a bucket of water on me.
This was fun! My suggestions are either themed around sleep or waking, and some are simply weird or discordant. All should be suitable for teenagers. Mostly older stuff that should jangle their brain a bit.
Something classical: Flight of the Bumblebee A country earworm: Is this the way to Amarillo? by Tony Christie Disco nonsense: Shake shake shake shake your booty by KC and the Sunshine Band Punk chaos: 10% Weird by The Meanies Thumping house: 74 is the new 24 by Giorgio Moroder Japanese blues: Akita Ondo by George & Noriko 80s hard rock: All Fired Up by Fastway Bluey’s Dad used to be the lead singer in an indie guitar band: Apartment by Custard RnB: Back to Life by Soul II Soul 80s pop: Beat It by Michael Jackson Rap: Body Movin by the Beastie Boys Something French: Ca Plane Pour Moi by Plastic Bertrand 80s metal: Come and Get It by Judas Priest Scare them awake with some industrial noise: Come to Daddy by Aphex Twin 80s synth pop: Dreaming Of Me by Depeche Mode Indie: Dreams by Beck Reggae: Get Up Stand Up by Bob Marley and the Wailers Naughties pop: Wake Up by Arandhna
- MELT-BANANA - The Hive
- Anna Meredith - Nautilus
- Aphex Twin - Come To Daddy
If they’re not enough for your child to choose an alarm instead, I don’t know what is.
Locomotive Breath - Jethro Tull
Smoke on the Water - Deep Purple
LaGrange - ZZ TopMarc rebillet good morning wake up
Holding out for a hero or pink pony club. The door will kick open as they come out singing
2 Live Crew - Shake that ass bitch
Papa Smurf Can I Lick Your Ass
If he’s not awake by then, give up.
You Suffer by Napalm Death. It’s 1.6 seconds long, but played at max volume, it would wake the dead.
I see you and raise you nasenbluten’s “rotterdam takes it up the arse”
Let’s Wake The Neighbors - Whitest Kids U Know
https://.youtube.com/watch?v=hsn63yAzP6E
For a particularly brutal morning :
Strapping young lad : underneath the waves
Dillinger escape plan : sunshine the werewolf
And Levan’s polka so it gets stuck in their head for the whole day
<3
Either What’s New Pussycat is longer than I remember…
Rawr.
Wake me up when september ends
My grandmother would regularly play mariachi music at way too early hours of Saturday as she was cleaning because she liked it. I learned to wake up before the crack of dawn on those days so I could be out of the house in time to avoid it.
Anyways, spice it up with things like yodelling, bagpipes, any cultural music with extremely high pitched instruments or vocals, and particularly emotional songs from popular musicals. And maybe throw in a soundtrack of metal pots falling down the stairs or glass crashing in between songs, just to keep them on their toes.
Wake up bitch, get up
As a live cover. With the robe.
