Everyone knows how rabidly reactionary and shitheaded the SW fandom became after the Disney acquisition but I’m finally at my breaking point with this latest wave of chud whining. The Acolyte got review bombed before it even aired because the showrunner is a lesbian and the leading actress is a gay enby. Also a clip of Stenberg from like 6 years ago made the rounds where she says the goal of a completely different project she was working on was to make white men cry and chuds who get all their news from youtubers thought she was talking about the Acolyte.
Fast forward to the show’s release, the chuds continue to whine about woke Star Wars despite the show’s first several episodes being pretty bland and mid in every regard. To disguise their actual reasons for hating the show (diverse cast and queer showrunner) they pull out the absolute most ridiculous reasons to bash it, including but not limited to:
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“The writing is awful and the story sucks!” (the dialogue is genuinely quite bad at times but no worse than 95% of star wars projects. The general story is a mystery-thriller that’s compelling enough. Also these same people turn around and say the prequels are incredible so
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“The show contracts and ruins the prequels!” alright time to put on my nerd cap because the media literacy of these fucking shitbags is nonexistent. “Dark side user” =/= Sith, Red-lightsaber-user =/= Sith, there are tons of darkside users in the galaxy but the Sith area very specific order that the jedi warred with for thousands of years before they were almost completely wiped out. Also half the point of the prequels was to show the Jedi are blinded by their hubris and waning connection to the force, the Sith were right under their nose the entire time and they were just too arrogant to see it, silly Darth Teeth man doesn’t ruin shit in your dog ass shit fuck childrens movies.
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“The show RETCONS CANON in an UNACCEPTABLE WAY” this is because a prequel side character’s DOB was retconned and he’s a lot older now and appears in the show. These worthless fucks are sending death threats to Wookiepedia editors who change the character’s DOB and screaming that it’s vile yes that’s right it’s VILE to change a fictional background character’s birthday. Just take a look at the replies on that post, yes I know it’s the bird hellsite filled with ragebait but the responses like “oh well I thought that GATEKEEPING was a BAD THING
” are just so bleak. Art and media mean nothing to these people, their hobby is not watching Star Wars, its watching ragebait youtubers and getting violently angry about mundane things in shows they’ve never watched and aren’t interested in 
Also these screaming manbabies keep referencing non-canon books and shit as “proof” of the show retconning things
The discourse around TLJ was bad but I think I’m finally done engaging with the SW fandom in any way shape or form. My brain has finally been broken by the chuds. I don’t think I’ll even tell people I like SW anymore because these shitbrains have just ruined it. And yes I know I need to 
but if you don’t spend a decent amount of time in these SW fandom circles I promise you don’t know how bad it actually is
/rant
Can we just abandon star wars? I get it, chuds hate it for the wrong reasons, it is bad though. Everyone on twitter has to be all ‘well ackshually’ about the space fire, and how star wars has always had space explosions so its fine, but level with me: it does look a bit shit right? The fire on the outside of the ship.
Its tough how bad The Last Jedi broke their brains. I came out of that theatre feeling electric, I loved that movie, but its been bottom of the barrel Disney schlock since.
I don’t know why people have to hold Star Wars so sacred, and I say this holding a pretty embarrassingly large love for it. Star Wars has always been kinda mid, and that’s especially true for all of the expanded content for it.
Overall, the Acolyte is fine? It’s not particularly bad in an unusual way - like, it’s comparably bad to the Mandalorian. My only engagement with Star Wars discourse is listening to A More Civilized Age religiously - I outright refuse to engage with the broader fandom (same goes for anime - I avoid discussing it with anyone that isn’t a big ol commie).
Based AMCA enjoyer. I don’t get the hate for the acolyte either and I agree that fine is the way to describe it. Much like a lot of star wars, there are a lot of interesting things floating around in the background that will not get the show’s focus like I would want. Meanwhile, the main mystery could be alright depending on how it casts the Jedi at the end of it all, but I’m expecting they’ll fumble it. (I haven’t seen the most recent episode yet, so it may have already gone off the rails for all I know)
AMCA is helping me pretend like I enjoyed Rebels much more than I actually did
All the uncle magic making you retroactively like the show
There was literally nothing like Star Wars before Star Wars.
As someone who was alive in the 70’s, there really was nothing like it. Not that was any good and not in the main stream.
I don’t mean there wasn’t science fiction or fantasy or whatever. I mean, it generally sucked and was low budget schlock.
Lucas took that shit so seriously he practically had a heart attack making the first one. It shows, for audiences at the time, it was a game changer.
It was a blockbuster where people were waiting in line for DAYS to see it.
You look at it now and I can see how it’d look mid. But, it pretty much launched science fiction/fantasy movies as a mainstream thing.
And it tool a good long while for it to be bettered too. Those effects still looked moden in the 90s
We’ve lost so much in the move away from model work and practical effects 😔
AMCA goes hard and I actually clicked on this thread to figure out if I should watch acolyte for their premium ep on it
If you listen to their premium eps, you should probably just watch the new show like the rest of us dorks lol
look… correct argument, but I like the show a lot more than I like star wars
Give me another season or two of Andor so I can forget about this shit forever
I want the full 5 seasons of Andor originally planned, but just make it animated so we don’t have to deal with the harsh realities of Diego Luna aging throughout the process of producing multiple seasons of TV show.
If there’s anything Star Wars loves it’s an excuse to rerelease something - they can do the New Digitally Remastered Rogue One, with frame-by-frame AI-aging effects added on.
…it won’t look great though.
I heard Andor is good.
Andor is legitimately great
The only genuinely good film was ESB. Everything else is just slop executed with various degrees of competence. Virtually everything people argue about why the prequels or sequels suck could apply to ROTJ as well, but you don’t see people shitting on Death Star 2.0 being creatively bankrupt or Luke being a Mary Sue which he 100% was. Even the very first film could be nitpicked to death.
Why didn’t the Death Star shoot its laser through Yavin, a planet made out of mostly gas, in order to blow up Yavin 4?
What was the point of Obi-Wan dying if it was established in ESB that Jedi can telepathically communicate with Force-sensitive individuals meaning Obi-Wan didn’t have to die in order to tell Luke to “use the Force?”
How was Han able to pilot the Millennium Falcon, a noticeably bigger and more conspicuous ship compared with an X-wing, through the defenses of the Death Star with nary a scratch?
How was Luke able to miraculously survive the Death Star exploding despite having less than 10 seconds to pilot his X-wing out of the explosion radius?
This is why I checked out of Star Wars “discourse.” Ultimately, people nitpick because they have various issues with whatever movie they want to nitpick, but because they can’t say the real reason why they hate that particular movie, they have to come up with some pointless nitpick instead. If they love the movie, suddenly whatever nitpick they apply for the movie they hate is completely irrelevant. This is why some ship ramming at hyperspeed gets nitpicked but the Death Star not shooting through a gas planet gets a pass.
We don’t know how the Death Star Laser works, and we don’t know how Hyperspace works. It’s entirely reasonable that the laser wouldn’t work on a gas giant, and that a ship traveling through hyperspace can’t fully control where it exits.
When Obi Wan says “if you strike me down I shall become more powerful than you can possibly imagine”, he’s referring to how his memory will drive Luke to get stronger and fight the Empire. That’s why he lets Vader kill him.
The rebel fighters had cleared away most of the Death Star’s point defenses around the trench that they needed to fly through. That’s why they’re blowing shit up on the Death Star for a while before they go into the trench instead of just bombing straight down it at top speed.
Cinematic time dilation. This is a pretty standard across all action films, because you have to show all of the actions that the characters are doing clearly so that the audience understands what they’re looking at, but showing them all in this way makes it take much longer than it should actually take “in universe” for the events to occur.
That can be answered by Alec Guinness himself.
He hated working on SW, called it “fairy tale rubbish”. He hated it so much that he asked Lucas to kill off his character. So it’s a case of Real Life Writes The Plot, sort of.
That was honestly what I thought as well. I knew he thought Star Wars was worthless slop.
back when the force awakens came out me and my friends were on the hype train and got together to watch the originals and the prequels and man after like three of those films i was so over it (star wars being literally everywhere back then didn’t help matters either). I really have no idea how anyone can get excited for more and more and more of this shit.
Yeah if these peoples’ attitude was “fuck star wars because its corporate slop” that’d be 1000% fine but they don’t care about that as long as the slop suits their tastes.
I forgot that was a thing tbh. It didn’t register anything for me
Every day that passes makes my proposal of a plotless lightsaber tournament that much more appealing by contrast.
Fuck it! Anakin vs Luke, Quai Gon Jin vs Rei, Obi Wan vs Akosha, Darth Maul vs Yoda, Mace Windu vs General Greivis, Duku vs Palpetine
And you know what? Sora from Kingdom Hearts vs Kylo Ren. Just send my Emmy in the mail
A lightsaber tourney would be amazing, but I wouldn’t make it about a cast we already kniw.
Fill it with martial artists and stunt workers. Theres no plot so no need for acting ability.
But heres the hard part almost anybody in hollywood would fail at: Make the action 70-80% middle shots and keep the camera on the action through more than a single action beat. Keep the camera steady and let the dancers show off their skills.
If they can’t do this, then I’d rather the keep the soapy formula they’ve been on
That would be beautiful, but when it comes to star wars, I am such a sucker for magic-enhanced martial arts. I write about it because it’s how my imagination has developed as I started doing BJJ, striking, etc. I need them to have choreography and LARPing in addition to their real skills. I need someone to be about to get sliced and force push their opponent back. I need someone to throw a giant rock and their opponent torpedos through it spinning saber first only to get force lightning-d out of the air. I need someone to demonstrate force choking not working against another force user to characterize Vader as a bully. They need to lose a saber and have to wrestle each other over the single lightsaber left. I NEED TWO YOUNG YODAS
Yes, naturally. What would be the point of making it star wars if it didnt have all that wacky force business?
I feel like the Acolyte was advertised as a magic martial arts show, and it had me hyped, but so far there’s just been the opening scene which is disappointing. Here’s hoping we get more if that later because itherwise this show is super dull
FTFY
Yo that podracing scene fucks, you can really tell that George wanted to do a sci fi racing movie all along (there’s a drag race through beggar’s canyon in the original Star Wars treatment/script lmao).
WAIT! I JUST THOUGHT OF THE DECADE DEFINING TRILOGY
Three full movies about Ben Quadinaros and his legendary rivalry with Sebulba.
Why wouldn’t it work
It just wouldn’t
Tell me why, you stupid bastard
The movie opens with Sebulba racing on Corellia. He’s in the middle of the pack, which the announcers call out as unusual, as he’s on a 12 race winning streak. Sebulba gives a hand signal to the racer in front of him, who waves back, and the two begin drafting each other, breaking out of the pack and passing the leader.
Going into the final turn, it seems that Sebulba’s play worked perfectly, but that he’s still going to get second place, breaking his winning streak. That is until he flashes his vents at the driver in front of him, blinding him during a critical part of the turn, allowing Sebulba to go to the inside track and ram the other driver, damaging one of his engines.
Sebulba wins by a hair, and the crowd boo him. It’s obvious that what he did was extremely illegal, but the announcers are in his corner, calling it “an unfortunate accident”. After the race, Sebulba is interviewed and asked about the rumor that he participated in an unsanctioned race on a backwater planet owned by slave traders, a rumor which he denies.
Cut to Ben Quadrinaros, who is watching this all play out on a monitor while washing dishes in a cantina. Ben is a member of a swoop gang and a legend on the small track, but he had to save up for years to rent the pod racer the blew up on him while he was on the starting line, and now his dreams of using the prize money to get off Tatooine are gone. That is, until a second chance in the form of a shady loan to buy another pod and enter another race comes his way…
It’d totally work.
That would be a wonderful limited series like Kobra Kai. I would straight up go Disney adult for that show.
Add a dozen or two identical anime swordguys and you’d have a solid Smash sequel on your hands.
I already named a bunch of Jedi
Kingdom Hearts BRAWL!!
Not to argue more, but to argue more, TLJ wasn’t bad because of ‘unrealistic physics’ or whatever. It was bad because it couldn’t hold a conflict or dramatic tension for longer than 3 seconds, which meant even when bad things were happening I felt no level of stakes for the main characters. I mean, even the prequels, for how bad and cheesy they were, still managed to hold dramatic tension. Even VII held dramatic tension. VIII felt more like… idk what the right analogy is, the closest I can think of is a bad season of Buffy. Like the writers know that conflict has to happen because stories need conflict, but that doesn’t mean the conflict should actually affect the characters and their choices in any meaningful way.
Like the big things were clear, they wanted to hit the same beats as V, so they needed a Hoth, Cloud City and everything needed to look desperate but hopeful at the end, so they just decided to mix it up alittle. The issue was they don’t seem to understand why those story beats work, and why they work in the order they were originally presented. Like, Vader and Luke’s fight leads to his isolation, but after he is rescued, he knows the allies he does have he can count on. But it still ends with just him, Leia, C3PO and R2, with Chewbacca and Lando leaving them behind for Luke to recover. Having nearly every named character with Rey at the end, especially in the final shots undercuts the mood we are supposed to be feeling (the utter loss of an entire rebel base and the death of Luke Skywalker) and is a fundamental misunderstanding of the language of cinematography. The last scenes with the broom kid itself weren’t bad cinematography, but there is no actual payoff to it, so it is mostly meaningless.
A pretty easy change to make it meaningful would be Rey being nearly alone now or completely isolated from the crew, distraught and hopeless, then Leia comes to her, talks to her of the despair she felt seeing Alderraan be blown up, but tells her that as long as there are people, they will fight for freedom, Rey looks off into a space window or something and then we cut down to the broom-kid scene. All those people can still survive, but the focus is on the main character, what the main character is feeling, how the world appears within that feeling and the previous actions of the main character that inspired hope in a much cleaner way cinematically. But these kinds of problems are all through the movie, just very strange choices with pretty easy fixes, like it was rushed out of the writers room.
TLJ was good, actually