The details are worse than you might have assumed. CW: sex pestery
spoiler
Elon Musk hosted Saturday Night Live back in 2021, and while he thought he had a killer pitch for his monologue, it went over like a flaccid… well, it didn’t rise to the occasion.
Musk, the billionaire owner of Twitter/X, was on a panel at the All In Summit earlier this month and recounted his experience hosting SNL. And according to Musk, he had a really fantastic idea:
So, one of the things that I think everyone’s been sort of wondering this whole time is, is Saturday Night Live actually live.
To give Musk the benefit of the doubt — because no one wonders this — this sounds like a very classic monologue pitch for hosts who are, perhaps, a little gun-shy about doing comedy, and not him thinking people think that. Is it a good monologue pitch? That’s up for debate, but Musk thought it was great, so he went with it:
But there’s a way to test this. There’s a way to test this, which is, we don’t tell them what’s going on. I walk on and so, this is the script. I throw it on the ground. We’re going to find out tonight, right now, if Saturday Night Live is actually live. And the way that we’re going to do this is I’m going to take my cock out. And if you see my cock, you know it’s true. And if you don’t, it’s been a lie.
Now, most people know that taking one’s cock out without being asked is never — never, EVER — a great idea. But Musk and the guys on the stage thought it was hilarious. “This is the greatest pitch EVER!” a panelist exclaimed.
But as Musk continued his story, it was apparently not the greatest pitch ever, because the reaction he got from the SNL cast and crew on Zoom was not what he was expecting:
So, we come in like, like just like, guns blazing with like, ideas. And we don’t realize, like, actually, you know, that’s not how it works. And that it’s only, like, actors and they just get told what to do and like, oh. Well, you mean we can’t just, like, do funny things that we thought of?
This explains a lot about how Elon Musk operates.
Anyway, there was nothing but silence from the cast and crew. Musk and his cohorts thought the mic was muted. But then Musk revealed that he wasn’t even done pitching:
So, there’s more to it, okay? That’s just the beginning. So, then I’m, so now I’m like, so I say, like, I’m going to reach down into my pants, and I’ll stick my hand my pants and I’m going and I’m going to pull out my cock. And I told this to the audience, and the audience is going to be like, “Guh-whaaa?” And then I pull out a baby rooster. You know? And it’s like, okay, this is kind of PG, you know, it’s not that bad. This is my tiny cock.
Needless to say, this brilliant work of comedy did not make it to air.
Haha fake news comm can be funny sometimes
Oh no!
The Onion has a hard time keeping up sometimes.
Elon Musk wouldn’t even be allowed to post on badposting with ideas like that and that’s saying something
The le epic joek would be that people would be disgusted and maybe traumatized. It’s out of the Justin Roiland playbook. Massive content warning if you ever dare look up his “children’s special” which showed what he was all along.
Justin Roiland
My favorite way to easily tell if someone sucks is to look up their wikipedia page and see if there’s a section with a title along the lines of “Sexual assault allegations” and it hasn’t failed me yet.
He creeped on children and called them slurs and said bigoted shit if they didn’t like his advances and he did it in his “aw geeze” Morty delivery style.
Irredeemable piece of shit creep. I’ve never been more glad I always hated that show.
Elon musk’s c/badposting post:
Title: beanis
Body: just a picture of his cock, unblurred
The details are worse than you might have assumed.
Me: cant be that bad
Oh
This man lived through the Janet Jackson halftime show thingy, he should know that everything is on a short delay EXACTLY SO SHIT LIKE THAT COULD BE BLURRED
also him being surprised they actually have a whole staff of writers that, you know, mostly do all the writing
Imagine going to what to your workplace and casually mentioning what if I just whip it out? it’d be so funny! XD Obviously Eloner doesnt have an issue with sex abuse at work.
i suddenly realise, no one has ever asked (consented) to see this guy naked
He paid a (very small compared to his hoard) settlement for sex pesting a flight attendant by doing exactly that. “Hee hee look at peepee!” is the pinnacle of “humor” to him, and by “humor” I mean he wants to retcon the gesture as humor if he doesn’t get the le sexy sex he expects for doing that.
Up next on saturday night live, an elongated gentlemen, with a funny tattoo (a rhodesian flag or something. you fill in the blanks, choose your own nightmare)
He’s supposed to be this big brained genius and this is the way he approaches humor? This is the way he talks?
I mean fuck SNL, but he has the chance to do a comedy skit to an audience of milions and the best he could come up with is to flash people? I knew he wasn’t funny, but god damn that’s pathetic.
He’s a fucking billionaire with all the time in the world. If he wasn’t so fucking arrogant, he could hire a comedy writer to coach him. He could take lessons. He could buy any number of books. Hell, he could go on YouTube and watch a video for free.
I dunno where I’m going with this, but I have a complicated relationship with IQ and genius and what that looks like in a person, so to see this creatively bankrupt person pass himself as this Tony Stark witty genius feels a little jokerfying.
My chuddiest relative is a lot like
with less money and (somehow) not divorced. The most awkward dinner party I ever attended (that he hosted) included a part where he was bragging about how “sex positive” he was and was telling 40-60+ year old guests about his Skyrim naked/sex mod collection (that also removed the “furry freaks” and the “token ethnics” 
). Faces looked almost exactly like this around him:
His idea of an amazing tabletop joke was declaring that if the game was “realistic,” that the NPC villains holding the princess ransom (played by his own daughter) would do SV to her. He got upset that no one laughed and that there was only awkward silence. Terminal stage gambobrain.
This relative checks so many terrible boxes for things you hate in gaming and fiction that I wonder if he was created in a lab just to torment you.
I wish folks like that would get isekai’d into their treat worlds only to discover that ‘realism’ would utterly fuck them up.
This relative checks so many terrible boxes for things you hate in gaming and fiction that I wonder if he was created in a lab just to torment you.
In a way, it almost was like he was. I had to spend my formative years around him and that fucking sucked. My immediate chud parents didn’t help with that either.
I wish folks like that would get isekai’d into their treat worlds only to discover that ‘realism’ would utterly fuck them up.
He’d throw violent tantrums (I don’t exaggerate; pounding the table, throwing things, even punching a wall at one point) and maybe even stamp out of the room if his character got damaged in a session. He didn’t do that during the SV-joke-about-daughter-present session, fortunately. He was relatively well behaved (probably to try to get a permanent invite back into the group, which obviously didn’t happen because we “can’t take a joke”) compared to his behavior when he was banished from my old tabletop group years before that. It wouldn’t take much for an isekai world to do him in.
This has nothing to do with this except the whole “the worst of realistic and gritty” fiction enjoyers, but it reminded me of the Star Citizen forum post from near the beginning of the grift where
CW:SA
someone argued that it’d realistic if space pirates SA’d their victims, and that’s why getting SA’d should be a mechanic in the game
I’m sure they weren’t suggesting that for any other reason
edit: I guess we have a new filter now, good.
Some other “realistic” Star Citizen enjoyer, the one with a big fancy cryptofascist space Roman title for paying a lot of money, wanted the fidelity/realism bullshit pitches in his favorite grift to mean (CW: extreme gore/violence/torture)
spoiler
that “bounty hunting” could become more convenient and efficient if targets’ limbs were amputated and the target could be carried around in small containers while kept alive with medical space magic for a live bonus. The “realism” enjoyer then added that castration could be a mechanic to reduce the combat capabilities of targets because biotruths about T-count.
I vaguely remember that, but the one that was actually funny (because those other two are more horrifying) was the guy who suggested you could drain your cargo hold of air if you were carrying slaves to avoid detection.
“Move along Star Citizen, we suspected you may have been smuggling slaves, but I see you only have an ordinary load of fresh corpses.”
The worst possible FTL crossover there.
These people are always telling on themselves. We make games unrealistic so they’re fun. We make movies unrealistic so they’re entertaining. You absolutely do not want to play a game where you’re just curled up in a ball in a wet trench trying not to die during a 72 hour artillery barrage. It would be “muh realistic gritty,” but completely boring. People can’t even handle getting spawn camped.
Sexual violence isn’t fun. It’s not something people should get entertainment out of. And it’s always directed towards women when it’s in games (despite SV happening to men in war). Wanting it in your video game puts up a giant red flag about what you find enjoyable.
Peodphile sex pest alarm going off the scale.
“OK fine what if I also said a slur while I did it”
Drej Queen vomiting energy, targeting systems offline.
tagline material
thanks
I wanted this to be an Onion headline. in fact hey maybe I’ll just retreat into a reality where this is an Onion headline.
So basically the same type of pitch as the infamous Stephen Seagal episode that got black holed
Elon almost posted hog
Not sure if that’d have tanked his bazinga empire or if it’d have set a new precedent for other bazingas to more openly be sex offenders.
He should have put his cock in a waffle iron. That would be a great bit.
deleted by creator
I’ll edit that now. Sorry!
thanks, much easier to read. I think you missed a ‘>’ on the line that starts with ‘So,’ after ‘idea:’
I’ll give it another go. Glad I could clean it up.
