My org has like 8 events on the calendar for this upcoming week and I’ll need to attend at least 2-3. The first one isn’t until tomorrow but seeing those updates just drained me of energy and now all I want to do is lay down and tune out the world.

  • UlyssesT [he/him]@hexbear.net
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    36
    ·
    3 months ago

    Yes.

    The anticipation, and the undue dread from visualizing what would happen if I for some reason forgot or neglected those obligations, can be draining.

    It especially sucks when it’s things I can’t do now even if I wanted to, where the waiting is part of the anticipation.

    • BeamBrain [he/him]@hexbear.netOPM
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      18
      ·
      3 months ago

      What really sucks is my org knows I’m autistic, they’ve been understanding of my difficulties in the past, but I can’t just unlearn the lessons of a lifetime of being belittled and dismissed any time I tried to assert needs that neurotypical people decided didn’t count.

      • UlyssesT [he/him]@hexbear.net
        link
        fedilink
        English
        arrow-up
        16
        ·
        edit-2
        3 months ago

        Relatable.

        I used to lead my tiny little old org but I took it so full-time seriously that I had no time or energy for anything else yet at the same time I was afraid it’d all fall apart without me if I so much as looked away for too long.

        When I finally appointed someone to replace me and I couldn’t get my old position back even if I wanted to, that was a massive relief.

  • Zuzak [fae/faer, she/her]@hexbear.net
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    22
    ·
    3 months ago

    If I make plans in advance, they feel like obligations and I immediately want to flake. If I don’t make plans in advance, I get anxious and say no because I don’t have time to prepare mentally. The only way to get me to do anything is to hit the sweet spot right around 24 hours in advance, which gives me just the right amount of time to not feel either pressured or unprepared.

    I don’t do a lot of things.

  • RiotDoll [she/her, she/her]@hexbear.net
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    13
    ·
    edit-2
    3 months ago

    I’m supposed to help an amazingly kind person who has helped me out a ton with a minor errand and i’m supposed to spend time with her and I wanna tell her nah i’m not up for it just out of existential dread and pre-emptive anxiety

  • juliebean@lemm.ee
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    12
    ·
    3 months ago

    yup. i call it ‘pretired’. i really struggle to do anything i want to do toward the end of the weekend because of it.

  • FishLake@lemmygrad.ml
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    10
    ·
    3 months ago

    Oh yeah, that’s me.

    I’m fine with obligations as long as it’s far enough ahead so I can plan down time before hand.

  • un_mask_me [any]@hexbear.net
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    10
    ·
    3 months ago

    Yes, and having more than 3-4 things happening in a week wears out my social battery like no other. Can’t do things like doctor or dentist in the same week because they’re all I can think about. It can be kinda frustrating.

  • boreengreen@lemm.ee
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    6
    ·
    3 months ago

    Usually, if i have something important to do the next day, i can’t sleep. Usually it’s something where being rested would be good. also, yes, i hate having things on the calendar.

  • infuziSporg [e/em/eir]@hexbear.net
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    4
    ·
    3 months ago

    Depends what and how long.

    I’m one of the few people that deeply enjoy org meetings, but if I have 2 jobs that eat up 90% of waking hours in a 48-hour span, the beginning of that feels dreadful.