I’ll go first: I’m not actually the famed reclusive author Thomas Pynchon.
I was actually Richard Hell from Television and The Voidoids, the whole time.
I sold the domain name to DOGE for a cybertruck coupon ($50 off)
Im Melina
I’ve actually never met George Soros nor worked for him.
unbelievable
It was me Hexbear. John Kerry, Silver Legion, Veganism, Outdoor cats, moving stones, throwing batteries into the ocean, liberalsocialist.
I’m the author of all your pain.
I’m sorry you all had to find out this way but I’m straight
Now that you’re out, the plane’s gonna right itself and we’re all gonna live
My first and only celebrity crush was Elliot Page because I envied him for seemingly being a lesbian when I was still in denial.
But joke’s on me I guess.
I’m actually Barron Trump
I was a liberal the whole time
Dw we knew
You know how I’ve been advertising weight loss supplements and exercise equipment on my TikTok? Since the app’s getting banned I may as well share that I’ve actually been thin the whole time and I don’t use any of those products
12 hours later
Hahahaha what a funny joke I made, right guys?
I’m gay
See, now that you’re out, the plane’s gonna right itself and we’re all gonna live.
How do I get my kids to stop dressing up as you?
Encourage it
Kakarot is a true saiyan warrior and sometimes bests me.
I fucking love hololive and holostars
Sometimes girls just wanna have fun
I used to “ironically” be into vtubers but it has stopped being ironic a while ago
We should all become vtubers and open our own vtuber owned co-op agency as a bit but then it can eventually stop being a bit
I’m not actually a sentient Beaver
I’m also not a sentient beaver.
Bob Dole is posting from hell. Having to spend eternity on this liberal website is Bob Dole’s eternal punishment.
