I mean you don’t want your toaster to get hacked, got to keep on top of those security updates.
The “revolution” written under the screen is just the cherry on top
This can’t be real. I refuse to look it up. I’m going to bed now
Someone flag Louis Rossman, I want his snarky take on this ridiculous thing.
Everyone here is simply hating on these bitcoin-mining toasters that earn 10% of your money back. Your toast will be ready in 10-60 minutes.
Did you know there is a toaster from the 50’s which is totally mechanically automatic? It slowly lowers and raises the bread automatically, controls the darkening of the bread by measuring the slice’s temperature, and it is all powered by the thermal expansion of the heating coils themselves.
At work we have some boring toasters. It uses a dial for how well burned you want your bread. It works perfectly well. Purely electromechanical.
Why the fuck does it need this is beyond me.
I also have a boring dial toaster. It was given to me by a couple who were afraid of it because it doesn’t pop up. You have to work a lever to get the toast out. Makes great toast.
It was $5 cheaper.
Now give up your email address, phone number, name, mailing address, and sign in to our app to burn your bread.
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I wonder if future generations of toasters will require age verification since they are running an OS that can presumably get online? I hate it here, but luckily I have an analog toaster I intend to keep.
Maybe in the future during rolling blackouts caused by ai they’ll only permit a light toasting.
What kind of monster wants babies to play with the toaster? /s
The brave little toaster agrees.
My smart underwear needed a firmware today as well! What a coincideink!
💻🩲
Child-sized penis detected! Implementing parental controls on all nearby devices.
I really need to figure out how to root this thing and remove the damn chastity belt settings. And install an ad blocker!
volume, brightness, time and date… i dont need any of those things out of a toaster
It’s pretty useful to have a darkness control for the toast. That’s just a brightness control put on backwards
yeah thats what the dial is for
The only smart toaster I like.
Smart toaster… Why? Alot of shit I can understand a justification but unless this toaster takes bags of bread and automatically loads and toasts the smart aspect is useless because who’s loading their toaster and not making toast right away.
Reminds me of the novella Unauthorized Bread by Cory Doctorow.
Love that one. For anyone who hasn’t read it, this is the full text: https://arstechnica.com/gaming/2020/01/unauthorized-bread-a-near-future-tale-of-refugees-and-sinister-iot-appliances/
Anyone who buys “Smart” products gets what they deserve.
