- cross-posted to:
- programmer_humor@programming.dev
- cross-posted to:
- programmer_humor@programming.dev
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Three major updates before the coffee’s done brewing brings to mind a team scrambling to fix a fuck up, fucking up even more, then scrambling to fix that on top of the original fuck up.
“[Dev1]Oooooh sh*t! Prod is down!! AI, we need to fix this ASAP!
-[CodeAssistant] Please wait, I’m working on a solution.
-[Dev1] No, wait! I haven’t given you any details yet!
-[CodeAssistant] Proposed solution: delete entire codebase and database to restart from scratch! Do you want to proceed?
-[Dev2] Mike, do you want to grab a drink after work?
-[Dev1] Yes, sure! … Wait! NOOOOOOOOOOO!”This all kind of implies that the devs can push to prod whenever they want, which isn’t how everyone else is set up. Some of us want to cordon off all this chaos, just a little, with release windows and scheduled downtime if needed. Which is yet more LinkedIn Lunatic material.
Well yeah, those three fuckups were the three major updates. Its all about speed with these lunatics
My cortisol!
Does no one else type faster than they talk?
Bigger question: who the fuck is bottlenecked by their typing speed?
You can’t vibe code your way out of needing to know what to build, how it fits together with what you have, or the things that actually make the job tricky.
You forget that I can now describe the code I want faster than I can write it. Frankly it’s irrelevant if the code at the end doesn’t do what I want or that I don’t know what it does. The speed, baby. Never before could I push this much code this fast. 200+ new bugs a day, four times as fast as I used to be pushing features. The code base is worse than it’s ever been and it’s only going to get faster from here. This is the future, baby - the vibe coder
I type slower than I talk, but partly because I’m usually thinking through what I’m typing and not as I’m talking
I’m usually thinking
Well there’s your problem. No need to bother with that anymore.
Let chatgpt do your thinking for you, and don’t forget to let it know your plane landed safely!
For me they are roughly on par with each other when accounting for stutter and autocorrect/ me being stupid and mixing up spelling styles. Regardless voice recognition software almost always shits the bed with my accent eventually since it gets thicker the longer I talk, it doesn’t like my fucked up mix of American brogue, old arkansaner, and standard southern Californian even got a bit of German Minnesota mixed in.
I type waaaaayyyyyy slower than I talk. And I talk waaaayyyy slower than I think. And I would definitely destroy any computer trying to keep up with my random and meaningless thoughts.
I think better standing and walking around. Voice notes have been a thing forever
I max out 80 WPM, but I also speak fucking slow.
I sometimes can type faster than I normally speak, but that depends on the keyboard (needs something without a membrane sensing apparatus (not rubber domes) for it to work), and I sometimes can type faster than I could think clearly, which can be detrimental to the quality of output. But hey, at a company, they could use it as a metric.
How are they drinking the coffee if they have the masks on to work?
That’s not a wire, it’s a really long straw
Emergency induction port
There is another tube that goes up their asses.
Underrated comment of the week
if you are shipping 3 major updates in a single day, something probably went super wrong.
Couldn’t they just roll them into one? The whole post is tonally deaf to the extreme.
No, we must uphold a continuous and unsustainable hype around our products, that requires frequent major updates!
To be fair, it didn’t say they were all on the same project.
Its the future, bro!
3 major updates in the morning and 30 major bug reports during the rest of the day?
No, don’t worry: all the tests are done by AI, and they’re all ok with the output. It may create some tensions with the users in production with behaviors the users don’t expect or understand, but we no longer call those bugs, it’s all because human users are inefficient and should be replaced by AI assistants.
Management decided that the issue tracking system should be set up by the intern, using an LLM to slop out the configuration. The good news is they don’t receive any bug reports…ever.
this is what happens when you let someone who gets stuck in vim make a company
As if these people have heard of vim
But yes
Wearing a surgical mask to protect others is tyrannical, but wearing this fucking muzzle to maximize profits for your corpo overlords is freedom. Get it right!
“100x developer”
OKAY BUDDY 😂
Why so pessimistic? 1000000x developer sounds much better! /s
Fun fact: The average Linux kernel developer adds probably less than 1100 lines of code per person-year to the kernel. It’s estimated 40,000,000 lines of code with over 40,000 person-years of work as input.
shipped three major updates
Aside from what’s obviously wrong with that from a technical point of view…as a user I loathe this shit. Like, you think I love it, if your shitty software is nagging me every three hours to update?
they’re counting each OS release as a separate update
They both…have keyboards.
This is for prompting an LLM. The “senior dev” in this case is not coding anything and neither are typing anything. The idea is that speaking to the LLM is faster than typing a conversation with it.
And apparently junior devs are clamoring to eavesdrop on how senior devs are prompting the LLM and that’s a problem. I can see the problem of being in an open office plan and having a ton of folks talking over another but the solution is just cubicles and not this face hugger microphone
Honestly I wish we had muzzles on people in the offices I’ve worked in in the past.
My office’s open floors have a thorough setup of noise dampening elements. The floor is some fancy carpet, the ceiling lined with some kind of foam elements, each desk has a backing made of that stuff too, and it works fairly well to keep the noise level manageable even when five people around me are in calls (which, given they’re second level support, happens fairly often). Our headset have ANC and some fancy built in voice isolation system, so it’s not even a bother for people on the other end.
Sure, it’s not cheap, but it’s neither as isolating as cubicles nor some dystopian bullshit like this. There are solutions if you’re willing to spend on them (and after making a show of leading by example, our boss somehow got very willing to spend that money…)
My comment is in reference to the first sentence in the post saying “the keyboard era is over.”
Muzzle the tech bros
>:3
Can’t wait to repeat myself in slightly different ways to get the damn thing to do what i want…
Needs to be more furry, for that extra touch.
Maybe pig-snout shapped, and with pig-ear headphones.
Ths guy types like an LLM too.
“Verbally shipped 3 updates”
=> telling the thing to upload said update instead of clicking it.
Wow very impressive.
Much technology, such update
