cat-trans

I hope everyone had a great week last week. Hopefully this one turns out even better for everyone.

  • lapis [fae/faer, comrade/them]@hexbear.net
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    7 months ago
    cw: facial hair dysphoria

    my hatred for shaving and my hatred for hair on my face are in a constant tug-of-war. I’ve been trying to be okay with having a stubble beard sometimes, but I hate that it gets me automatically read as a man.

    learning to accept the masculine physical traits that I have and cannot change is difficult in general, but facial hair is extra hard because I can sorta change it… if I spend hours every week sliding a razor across my face and don’t mind constant skin irritation on my face and neck.

    • EcoMaowist [she/her]@hexbear.net
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      7 months ago

      This is my issue, I hate facial hair, always have, and mine is so coarse that even a shave with a good razor doesn’t get it all. It’s also a sensory nightmare for me, though, thanks Autism 😆.

      • lapis [fae/faer, comrade/them]@hexbear.net
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        7 months ago

        unfortunately laser hair removal is way more expensive than I have the spare cash flow for. really hoping the Sphynx comes through and is reasonably simple to learn to use.

    • Xx_Aru_xX [she/her, they/them]@hexbear.net
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      7 months ago

      Try doing makeup over the stubble, I haven’t done that or tried that yet but I’ve heard some mention that, my shaving technique is that I use an electric trimmer to get the hair to be short then use a safety razor to finish the remaining ones, it gets me to clean for a full day and doesn’t leave burn marks like I used to

      • lapis [fae/faer, comrade/them]@hexbear.net
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        7 months ago

        I’ve tried this technique, just ends up double-irritating my skin. so far the closest shave with the least irritation is actually using a women’s multi-blade razor (not men’s, no clue why).

        it’s still not ideal, though. I’ll have to try the makeup-over-stubble thing some time, maybe that’ll at least help visually!

        • SexUnderSocialism [she/her]@hexbear.netM
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          7 months ago

          Have you tried using just the safety razor with a different blade? Some blades like Feather are known to irritate more. Back when I still had facial hair, I used to shave with a Merkur 34C safety razor + Astra SP blades. They gave me a very close shave with no irritation, unlike multi-blade cartridge razors. I used to get razor bumps with cartridge razors that would show up underneath my makeup no matter what I tried, but I never had that problem when using my safety razor.

          • lapis [fae/faer, comrade/them]@hexbear.net
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            7 months ago

            I’ve tried different types of safety razor and different blades. so far the Leaf razor with three blades irritates my skin the least.

            well, technically a straight razor irritates my skin the least, if you don’t count all the little nicks and cuts as irritation. but I CBA to straight razor shave multiple times a week.

    • DerEwigeAtheist [she/her, comrade/them]@hexbear.net
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      7 months ago

      I recently learned that having a moustage was a beauty ideal for iranian women in the 19th century. It is of course not in modern times, but maybe that context can help? There were also some nonbinary identities, but i forgot the name.

      • lapis [fae/faer, comrade/them]@hexbear.net
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        7 months ago

        huh, that’s pretty cool! unfortunately, the issue is largely (1) the beard makes me feel icky, which I’m trying to learn to ignore, and (2) people in western society instantly lose any perception of androgyny or femininity when facial hair is involved.

      • manuallybreathing@lemmy.ml
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        7 months ago

        There’s a difference between the vallus hair on a cis woman’s face, and the courser terminal hairs that are grown after a testosterone induced puberty.

        Sorry, this is a pet peve, when a cis woman friend pulls out the ‘I have hairy legs! / I have hair on my face!’, honey, its different, i have infact been upclose ans personal with women.

        my protip for youse is shave in the shower and try avoid mirrors ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ (doesnt help the sensory issues, i just let it grow out a little so its softer tbh)

        • ashinadash [she/her]@hexbear.net
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          7 months ago

          Cis women are not somehow immune to having terminal hair on their face, plenty of them do.

          Taking estrogen also tends to soften out and slow hair growth as well as making it less dense. Anecdotally my wife had some light chest hair that near enough quit growing. YMMV of course.

          When a cis woman friend “pulls out” those statements, the point is that body hair should not be associated as a masculine trait somehow, because that’s silly.