If they would prevent people and companies to own more than six houses or flazs, that would make way more sense.
In Texas, owning more dildos than guns is a crime. Probably.
They probably have some that are dual purpose.
Of course it’s possible to own more than 6 assault rifles, right?
Only if you compromise and get the assault rifles without dildo attachments. Unacceptable to me, that’s why I don’t live in Texas.
Not if you get the wrong type of pleasure out of those rifles I guess…
Suzie no! Don’t put the rife there!
Normalize mailing Texas lawmakers 7 dildos.
Nooo. That’s what they want you to do.
Do they want used ones?
It’s been their whole plan all along!
Always love how republicans and conservatives are constantly so preoccupied with sex, sex, sex all the time and in ever more imaginative and obscure ways.
I now associate their religious beliefs to sex, Jesus, sex, guns, sex, the American flag and sex.
Did you say “Jesus sex”?
Is this the second cumming?
It wasn’t the first temptation of Christ, and it sure as hell won’t be the last.
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WT ACTUAL F did I just see
That guy was called Longinus. His lance is legendary I hear
Biggus Dickus is next in line.
Jesus Fucking Christ … literary!
Jesus is coming…. grab a towel.
Not healthy sex - fucked up power-games sex.
… so S&M and BDSM? … the power of the Lord, with a ball strap to your mouth.
It can’t be, because BDSM is too consensual for them
Consent is the cornerstone of BDSM and ideally any kind of power exchange is discussed beforehand and freely agreed upon by all parties involved.
Oh good … what’s the safe word in Texas then?
Hold yer horses
I think they mean the “You want the job, but not the dick? That’s not how this works.” kind of sex.
Genital Obsessed Party
“The government needs to stay out of people’s lives! Unless it’s the private activities of people I find icky, then they should control the hell out of them!”
Modern conservative mentality … “Everyone should suffer and be sacrificed for my benefit, in this life and the next!”
… actually, it’s always been like that,
“So, what are you in for?”
“Seventh dildo.”
This was one of the laws broken in Half As Interesting’s “Crime Spree,” which became the pilot of their series “Jet Lag: The Game.”
If you have Nebula, it’s worth a watch.
Finally found a quest I’m absolutely sure my D&D group has NEVER played before.
Does Texas employ door-to-door dildo inspectors?
Is there a state office of dildo regulations, wieghts, and measures?
Enterprising Texan pervert invents a dual-function gun-dildo that is constitutionally exempt from sex toy laws.
Pump action shotgun dildo
I have seen some interesting sawzalls online…
Even better would be a pump action shot gun dildo in the shape of a cross with a beautiful carved image of Christ on the cross on top of the shot gun.
I know it’s not what you described but it reminded me of this:
…Jesus Christ
Dildo H Christ
That looks like a Pez dispenser … but I don’t think it dispenses candy
A gun made entirely out of weed. Why hasn’t this been done before!
Cheech and Chong were on the right track with their weed van.
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What are they going to do next? Make registry of dildos? Have a dildo buyback program? Regulate the length and girth?
Home inspections would trigger lots of backlash. This will just regulate physical stores because the lawmakers are boomers. Also you can’t have a massively-multi-dildo display at home if you expect snitches to come over.
Maybe they’ll use this as an excuse to monitor people’s online activity and/or mail. What if you’re buying dildos? Also lathes and 3D printers might become popular among sex shops for on-demand production. Invest!
Everything’s s dildo if you are brave enough.
Certainly color…
What if they’re dildo shaped guns? Would Texas ever dare to ban those?
“Compromises the innocence of children”???
Unless you are incredibly liberal parents, children don’t even know what the fuck those are until they’re old enough to recognize it as anything more than just a “tube”. By the time they grasp the idea that it’s something sexual, they’re old enough to handle that knowledge.
“smaller government” apparently just means few dildos for the inspector to have to count.
Republicans have long wanted a government small enough to fit inside a vagina.
How’s fixing that power grid going, Texas?
So surprisingly a couple things have actually happened. Renewables are still showing explosive growth, it helped stave off as many rolling blackouts this summer. Also, they finally agreed to tie into the national grid.
Now, did they actually winterize and help prevent what happened a few years ago? Who knows, we haven’t been told shit so probably not.
Well, credit where it’s due I suppose.
Perhaps that explains why legislators keep finding time to meddle in people’s pants.
I was completed floored about the tying into the national grid part. I never thought I’d see that in my life.
Knowing them, it was probably just cheaper to tie in vs fixing anything. Also our explosive population growth would have made boosting our infrastructure almost impoosible…oh wait I meant cost them too much money.
They can do two things at once.
They’re not, but they could.
It’s Texas Republicans we’re talking about here. I’m not at all convinced that they can.
We did fuck all and ERCOT is optimistic about the winter for some reason.
Global avg temp has increased, so better odds of it not freezing…
Global warming increases the likelihood of the polar vortex destabilizing, which is what caused the last clusterfuck.
I was gonna say: “Yes, but also, no.”
This is basically why we abandoned the abstract “global warming” for the abstract-er “climate change”. Some places are just going to see amplified extremes throughout the year rather than fewer seasons.
The very people that come up with these pearl clutch laws are the same people who also want to legalize marrying 12 year olds. But won’t anyone think of the children, PLEASE!
And scream about “parents rights”
that’s a funny way to spell child brides.
what is not fair is that all texans have at least one dildo as long as elon resides there.
Does my double-ended dildo count as one or two? Does size matter? Does a tarzan with bunny ears count as one or two? Does my hand count? How about a cucumber?
So many questions.
At this rate they’ll need to define and standardize what constitutes a dildo so they can ban the right things. At what length is a dildo dangerously concealable? Do fully vibromatic dildos need to be more strictly controlled? Is a cucumber a dildo, or an AOP (Any Other Phallus)? Should doctor’s offices hold dildo buybacks?
I will personally develop a toy that juuuuuust skirts the edges of their definitions called a dildon’t. I see a glorious market in my future.
Ghost dildos?
who cares, ill send people more double ended dildos to fight against the law!
