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VILenin [he/him]@hexbear.netM to the_dunk_tank@hexbear.netEnglish · 2 years ago

Americans when you threaten to take away their treats

hexbear.net

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Americans when you threaten to take away their treats

hexbear.net

VILenin [he/him]@hexbear.netM to the_dunk_tank@hexbear.netEnglish · 2 years ago
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  • NephewAlphaBravo [he/him]@hexbear.netBanned from community
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    2 years ago

    better take whiskey off the shelves… Said nobody.

    What the fuck even is a history book?

    • RyanGosling [none/use name]@hexbear.netBannedBanned from community
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      Al Capone was just just really into hot chip

      • usernamesaredifficul [he/him]@hexbear.net
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        italian mobsters born after 1931 can’t hunt wolves all they know is lie, racketeer, and smuggle alcohol

      • ProfessorAdonisCnut [he/him]@hexbear.net
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        He couldn’t McDonald’s or charge they phone back then, so he had to double down on eat hot chip and lie.

    • VILenin [he/him]@hexbear.netOPM
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      You say that this product shouldn’t be sold because it might kill you, but have you considered that this other thing might kill you too? I am very smart.

  • Judge_Juche [she/her]@hexbear.net
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    White people fundamentally do not understand how spice works, like I have eaten hot wings where the only flavor is spicy, a chemical spicy flavor completely disconnected from nature whose sole purpose is to cause pain.

    Like in cuisines that have used spices for thousands of years, it’s understood that spiciness is meant to complement the other flavors used in the dish. Like there are hot-as-fuck Sichuan dishes that are nevertheless easy to eat becuase making it really hot isn’t the only consideration in the recipe.

    Like for the sake of white people we can’t let them have anymore exotic flavors. Think of what they will do to themselves if Sichuan peppercorns ever get really popular. They will create a tasteless chip with so much numbing power it will cause permenent jaw paralysis.

    • john_browns_beard [he/him, comrade/them]@hexbear.net
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      2 years ago

      The one chip challenge is just macing yourself in the mouth for people who want to feel like they are above macing themselves in the mouth. I love spicy food but IMO once you start adding capsaicin extracts to anything, you’ve gotten lost somewhere.

    • SuperZutsuki [they/them]@hexbear.net
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      2 years ago

      White people just see spices as challenges (see also the cinnamon challenge) that are meant to be conquered. There is to be no joy in Anglo life, only heroic victories over the asiatic menace known as “flavor”.

    • NephewAlphaBravo [he/him]@hexbear.netBanned from community
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      I’ve eaten bits of straight-up reaper that taste good because they’re so strongly aromatic, and sauces that people ostensibly intended to taste good, but which taste like pool chemicals because it’s full of capsaicin extract.

      Anyway, just chop/mash/powderize actual peppers instead of doing dumb chemist shit with them.

      • SaniFlush [any, any]@hexbear.net
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        2 years ago

        Gnawed on a fresh Bird’s Eye chili once, it was crisp with a satisfying snap to it. Also the roof of my mouth went numb for a while.

        • robot_dog_with_gun [they/them]@hexbear.net
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          2 years ago

          nice

      • ElHexo@hexbear.net
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        deleted by creator

    • robot_dog_with_gun [they/them]@hexbear.net
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      they will create a tasteless chip with so much numbing power it will cause permenent jaw paralysis.

      that sounds like a good time. it would be cracker fugu

    • KobaCumTribute [she/her]@hexbear.net
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      Think of what they will do to themselves if Sichuan peppercorns ever get really popular. They will create a tasteless chip with so much numbing power it will cause permenent jaw paralysis.

      Ok real talk if one could concentrate and preserve the active chemical in sichuan peppercorns in a sauce that would actually be amazing. It’s so hard getting the right amount cooked just enough, not to mention how they lose their potency pretty rapidly. Just being able to splash some sauce into a bowl of soup or drizzle it over a dish with whatever other seasoning sauces one wants would be so nice.

      Unfortunately AFAIK it’s too volatile and delicate for that.

      • freagle@lemmygrad.ml
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        My sibling in spice, it is my great pleasure to introduce you to chili crisp. Lao Gan Ma, Momofuku, Blank Slate Kitchen, Fly By Jing…

        • KobaCumTribute [she/her]@hexbear.net
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          Fuck those are all expensive as hell. Guess I’m stuck grinding the peppercorns in a mortar and pestle whenever I can get them at a discount.

          • Barabas [he/him]@hexbear.net
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            If you’re getting szechuan chili sauces, go for the bean one. Blows the chili crisp out of the water (and it is cheaper).

        • robot_dog_with_gun [they/them]@hexbear.net
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          2 years ago

          hey can you pay my rent

      • ElHexo@hexbear.net
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        deleted by creator

        • KobaCumTribute [she/her]@hexbear.net
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          Interesting, do you know their climate tolerance or where one could get seeds?

          • ElHexo@hexbear.net
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            deleted by creator

            • KobaCumTribute [she/her]@hexbear.net
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              Cool, I’ll have to look into it and see if I can find some.

            • bigboopballs [he/him]@hexbear.netBanned
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              where did you find this cool climate zone image?

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    • SerLava [he/him]@hexbear.net
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      Yeah it is really hard to sort through hot sauces to find good ones that are really spicy.

      I’ve actually switched to extremely spicy ground pepper flakes, like dangerous to leave open. They don’t change the flavor at all, I put a nearly invisible amount onto my food, and rely on the rest of the recipe to provide good flavor

    • Mardoniush [she/her]@hexbear.net
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      Yeah, there’s also the “only chilli exists” concept of spice the spice freaks have. I’ve seen them put chilli in hot mustard and even wasabi, which I’m pretty sure is a crime against humanity.

  • UlyssesT [he/him]@hexbear.net
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    Eat hot chip and die.

    kelly

  • BeamBrain [he/him]@hexbear.net
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    Reminds me of a guy I know who said that lead paint and lead pipes in housing are fine as long as the occupants sign a waiver because “people should get to decide for themselves whether they want to accept the risk” and that “it’d be an expensive waste of government money to remove”

    • NephewAlphaBravo [he/him]@hexbear.netBanned from community
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      my favorite thing about heavy metals is their tendency to stay where you put them

      • RNAi [he/him]@hexbear.net
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        They are heavy, of course they will stay put

        • FourteenEyes [he/him]@hexbear.net
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          Not like feathers, which just fly around everywhere

          • RedCat@lemmygrad.ml
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            Just yesterday I moved 5 whole kgs of feathers. It was a breeze.

            • FourteenEyes [he/him]@hexbear.net
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              Just imagine if it were steel, what a hassle

              • RedCat@lemmygrad.ml
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                I can’t imagine it. 1kg of steel is already so much heavier. I mean just look how many feathers it takes to reach that. Can you imagine taking this times 5?

    • UlyssesT [he/him]@hexbear.net
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      You can test your own food for botulism. .001% lower taxes is worth the poors needing to do that. galaxy-brain

      • BeamBrain [he/him]@hexbear.net
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        I pointed out that his stance was anti-poor. His defense was “No it isn’t, I’m poor myself.” He owns 30 acres of land that his parents helped him pay for.

        • UlyssesT [he/him]@hexbear.net
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          Similar brainworms wriggle around in ruling class vampires that think wearing superficially “minimalist” clothes and having a glass and steel view of their infinity pools makes them less like modern sun kings.

        • roux [he,they]@lemmygrad.ml
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          30 acres sounds like a farm or something which probably means he owns some form of capital lol. Poor… he can get the fuck out of here.

      • Magician [he/him, they/them]@hexbear.net
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        I love that I can buy a Brita filter and a hotplate to drink clean water in the US. That’s real freedom!

      • GriffithDidNothingWrong [comrade/them]@hexbear.net
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        Isn’t poor people dying how we test for botulism?

        • ProfessorAdonisCnut [he/him]@hexbear.net
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          The children who yearn for the mines, yearn most of all to be canaries

    • Magician [he/him, they/them]@hexbear.net
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      Never criticizing the expensive waste of government money it was to use lead products in the first place. They just don’t want to acknowledge that undoing harm is part of fixing a problem.

      The fact that these things were allowed at all is the problem, not that it’ll cost money to fix it.

      • spectre [he/him]@hexbear.net
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        I don’t think the health effects of lead were well understood until after most of the plumbing was already in place

        • BeamBrain [he/him]@hexbear.net
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          “Water conducted through earthen pipes is more wholesome than that through lead; indeed that conveyed in lead must be injurious, because from it white lead is obtained, and this is said to be injurious to the human system. Hence, if what is generated from it is pernicious, there can be no doubt that itself cannot be a wholesome body. This may be verified by observing the workers in lead, who are of a pallid colour; for in casting lead, the fumes from it fixing on the different members, and daily burning them, destroy the vigour of the blood; water should therefore on no account be conducted in leaden pipes if we are desirous that it should be wholesome.” - Vitruvius, over 2000 years ago

          They’ve always known.

          • RNAi [he/him]@hexbear.net
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            wholesome

        • Magician [he/him, they/them]@hexbear.net
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          I’m just going off the US and its history of knowing dangerous things for longer than they admit, but I’m gonna research it either way. Thanks!

    • VILenin [he/him]@hexbear.netOPM
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      That’s even dumber…

      Just like you can choose between working and starving to death. Landlords know tenants can’t afford anywhere that isn’t actively killing you so why would they bother spending money to take out the lead?

  • NormalC@hexbear.netBanned from community
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    deleted by creator

  • wtypstanaccount04 [he/him]@hexbear.netBanned
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    Can’t even enjoy hot chip while you lie anymore ooooooooooooooh

  • LanyrdSkynrd [comrade/them, any]@hexbear.net
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    Neither of those points make sense. The label didn’t say, “This chip might kill you”.

    Nor is there evidence that the guy ate the equivalent of 3 bottles of whiskey in hot chips. The story I read implied he ate one chip, which is the amount the manufacturer intended you to eat, since they come in packages of one.

    • VILenin [he/him]@hexbear.netOPM
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      Nothing chuds like more than licking corporate boot. Speculating about preexisting conditions is their favorite pastime whether it’s a cop murdering somebody or dying from eating hot chip

      And even if it did say that, it would be unenforceable.

  • axont [she/her, comrade/them]@hexbear.net
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    you know you’d think a headline of “poisonous food kills child” would have most people on board with banning the poison but here we are

    • UlyssesT [he/him]@hexbear.net
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      A few years of “children are CROTCH FRUIT from POORS that SHOULD NOT BREED” reddit-logo ideology didn’t help.

      • RedCat@lemmygrad.ml
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        Is their an explanation why Libs and Nazi’s (so the entire Reddit Userbase) hate children so much?

        • GarfieldYaoi [he/him]@hexbear.netBanned
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          “Only the rich should be allowed to have children, because they’re the strongest” basically.

          You’ll see them cheer on as Elon Musk wants to have as many children as possible.

        • SerLava [he/him]@hexbear.net
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          Speaking of redditors, they are already insufferable and can’t date and will probably never have kids, so they have to turn that into a virtue

          Nazis actually often have a pro-(white)-natalist sorta psychosis

          • RedCat@lemmygrad.ml
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            I mean I am also completely incapable of dating but I would actually like to have children. Still doubt it will ever happen but I just don’t get the hate Redditors have towards children. Like sure children aren’t for everyone and you shouldn’t have children if you you’d hate them but why do Redditors feel the need to pretend that having children is objectively wrong?

            • SerLava [he/him]@hexbear.net
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              It’s not an individual effect, so much as it is the accumulation of many like individuals creating a self-reinforcing environment. It’s like how you can have someone start a forum about, I dunno, sidewalk licking, and pretty soon everyone who joins that goes from “I have this super weird and embarrassing habit” to “stupid NL’s (no-licks) are always trying to shove it in my face”

        • Shinhoshi@lemmygrad.ml
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          A lot of them are under 18 themselves

  • Rojo27 [he/him]@hexbear.net
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    Casual eugenics treat loveryea

  • usernamesaredifficul [he/him]@hexbear.net
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    gotta add the eugenics at the end just as the final touch

    • very_poggers_gay [they/them]@hexbear.net
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      kid

      thankfully removed himself from gene pool

      IN THE SAME SENTENCE.

      “Darwin Awards” and their consequences sadness-abysmal

  • SorosFootSoldier [he/him, they/them]@hexbear.net
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    Are anglos really that much of a pig for punishment where they line up to eat the pepperspray chip?

    • DayOfDoom [any, any]@hexbear.netBanned
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      The American life is increasingly devoid of effective stimulus and thus self-destructive or seemingly self-destructive acts are used as stand-ins for “feeling alive”.

    • Ho_Chi_Chungus [she/her]@hexbear.net
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      wait what is the chip we’re talking about here?

      • Rom [he/him]@hexbear.net
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        https://www.cnn.com/2023/09/07/business/paqui-one-chip-challenge/index.html

      • take_five_seconds [he/him, any]@hexbear.net
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        The one chip challenge that’s like ghost pepper extract or what have you.

    • GarfieldYaoi [he/him]@hexbear.netBanned
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      They beg porky to exploit them MORE, you tell me.

  • RNAi [he/him]@hexbear.net
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    Take whiskey off the fucking shelves already I-was-saying

    • SunriseParabellum@hexbear.net
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      deleted by creator

      • RNAi [he/him]@hexbear.net
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        haram

        • SunriseParabellum@hexbear.net
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          deleted by creator

      • SoyViking [he/him]@hexbear.net
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        But brown lowly liquor is tasty

        • SunriseParabellum@hexbear.net
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        • Magician [he/him, they/them]@hexbear.net
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          I hate the taste of liquor so much. Every now and then, I feel like I’m missing out and maybe my tastes have changed enough that I can enjoy some fancy booze on the rocks. I’m always wrong.

          agony-wholesome

      • Shinji_Ikari [he/him]@hexbear.net
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        I have the opposite effect. Clear liquors fuck me up royally but I can put away bourbon and wake up feeling fresh.

    • robot_dog_with_gun [they/them]@hexbear.net
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      whiskey is good on the rocks, sometimes (usually) i don’t want to pour half a mountain dew into some vodka

      • RNAi [he/him]@hexbear.net
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        Bourgeois decadence

        • The_Jewish_Cuban [he/him]@hexbear.net
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          isn’t whiskey one of the cheapest liquors to produce?

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            deleted by creator

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    deleted by creator

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    deleted by creator

    • spectre [he/him]@hexbear.net
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      Yes, a 21 year old died after eating the hot chip, details unknown (at least last night when I first heard about it)

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        deleted by creator

        • UlyssesT [he/him]@hexbear.net
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          Did they lie?

          Thanks for giving me the guiltiest laugh I’ve had all week.

          • comfortable_doug [he/him, they/them]@hexbear.net
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            But did you lie though?

            • UlyssesT [he/him]@hexbear.net
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              side-eye-1 crunching sounds side-eye-2

        • RedQuestionAsker2 [he/him, she/her]@hexbear.net
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          This person was clearly not a female born after 1993 as evinced by the fact that they could not eat hot chip edgeworth-shrug

  • OprahsedCreature@lemmy.ml
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    Alright now which one of you has been going around scratching the liberals again?

    • Magician [he/him, they/them]@hexbear.net
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      Freddy Krueger, but instead of a brick wall, he’s dragging his claw against a bunch of liberalism all lined up.

      • OprahsedCreature@lemmy.ml
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        image

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the_dunk_tank@hexbear.net

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It’s the dunk tank.

This is where you come to post big-brained hot takes by chuds, libs, or even fellow leftists, and tear them to itty-bitty pieces with precision dunkstrikes.

Rule 1: All posts must include links to the subject matter, and no identifying information should be redacted.

Rule 2: If your source is a reactionary website, please use archive.is instead of linking directly.

Rule 3: No sectarianism.

Rule 4: TERF/SWERFs Not Welcome

Rule 5: No ableism of any kind (that includes stuff like libt*rd)

Rule 6: Do not post fellow hexbears.

Rule 7: Do not individually target other instances’ admins or moderators.

Rule 8: The subject of a post cannot be low hanging fruit, that is comments/posts made by a private person that have low amount of upvotes/likes/views. Comments/Posts made on other instances that are accessible from hexbear are an exception to this. Posts that do not meet this requirement can be posted to [email protected]

Rule 9: if you post ironic rage bait im going to make a personal visit to your house to make sure you never make this mistake again

Visibility: Public
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This community can be federated to other instances and be posted/commented in by their users.

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  • KiaKaha [he/him]@hexbear.net
  • MiraculousMM [he/him, undecided]@hexbear.net
  • corgiwithalaptop [any, love/loves]@hexbear.net
  • VILenin [he/him]@hexbear.net
  • replaceable [he/him]@hexbear.net
  • EmmaGoldman [she/her, comrade/them]@hexbear.net
  • CARCOSA [mirror/your pronouns]@hexbear.net
  • BE: 0.19.12
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