• polle@feddit.org
    45·
    7 天前

    Thought at first that its a meme about the signal groupchat that was leaked currently and then read its discord and its 1 year old.

  • 3DMVR@lemm.eeEnglish
    7·
    6 天前

    I would never feel bad about that, have you ever had girls show you their gcs? I’m traumatized

  • AidsKitty@lemmy.world
    7·
    6 天前

    Be careful who you trust and only post things online that you wouldn’t mind everyone in your life seeing. Never trust the internet.

  • rumba@lemmy.zipEnglish
    4·
    6 天前

    LOL private chat with 8 people.

    You don’t even need a Derek, all you have to do is have one of the 8 perceive that they are being wronged. One’s mate makes googly eyes at another, next thing you know, it’s all public.

    Never post anything anywhere if it ever getting out will fuck you.

    Nothing is private and you should strive to be the kind of person that doesn’t say shit about other people behind their backs.

  • Letsdothisok@lemmy.world
    16·
    6 天前

    Wow. Derrick is a dirty pu–y. Screw you, Derrick, you don’t even know us. This is why no one likes you, Derrick.

  • SoupBrick@pawb.social
    464·
    8 天前

    I really thought this was going to be a satire post about the Yemen bombing Signal chat group leak based off the reddit title.

  • Ledivin@lemmy.world
    24724·
    8 天前

    If the contents of my friends’ group chat got leaked… people would just think we’re fucking idiots, not terrible people.

    Good work, Derek. Be better, losers in that chat.

    • amanneedsamaid@sopuli.xyzEnglish
      5918·
      8 天前

      I think that’s obtuse, comedy has no limits: As long as you don’t act upon uncomfortable / morally reprehensible ideas you joke about, you aren’t any worse or better than if you had never joked about it. I would argue that exposing a bunch of people for what they joke about with no evidence that they’ve actually done something wrong is far worse than joking about offensive subjects. (one has zero negative affects, the other has many)

      (I must say I disagree completely with that guy sharing messages from his girlfriend- that piece is very weird and a total breach of trust)

      • blady_blah@lemmy.world
        51·
        8 天前

        Keep in mind the source of this story. The author has every reason to describe the stuff on their group chat sound tame, so if it sounds bad, it’s probably 3 times worse than that.

      • exasperation@lemm.eeEnglish
        251·
        8 天前

        (I must say I disagree completely with that guy sharing messages from his girlfriend- that piece is very weird and a total breach of trust)

        My impression from the original post was that kind of stuff was what drove most of the fallout. Leaked off color memes aren’t going to ruin people’s relationships, but leaked shit talk or breaches of someone else’s privacy will.

        • KillingTimeItself@lemmy.dbzer0.comEnglish
          29·
          8 天前

          but leaked shit talk or breaches of someone else’s privacy will.

          shit talk and leaking messages is pretty bad, but that’s really common these days unfortunately. I wonder how frequently texts like that are shared between female group chats. Depends on the person, and the group, but they are just more connected.

          • FrostBlazer@lemm.ee
            11·
            7 天前

            Speaking ill of someone not present to defend themselves is commonly in bad tastes, imo. Commonality of occurrence certainly doesn’t make it any less wrongful. I don’t think it’s a gender specific issue based on the story being about guys doing this.

            • KillingTimeItself@lemmy.dbzer0.comEnglish
              24·
              7 天前

              i’m not saying it is, but from what i understand women tend to have a more cohesive social group, and tend to talk about things between them a lot more, so it would reason that there is a larger chance of stuff like this breaking out into that conversation.

              Men just don’t really talk about their personal lives all that much. And when they do it’s usually shitposting.

              Speaking ill of someone not present to defend themselves is commonly in bad tastes, imo.

              to be clear, i would generally agree with this, unless it’s understand to be venting/not seriously considered. It might be weird in the latter half, but it’s a lot less rude if it’s an inside joke specifically among a group of people.

              I don’t think it’s a gender specific issue based on the story being about guys doing this.

              and to be fair, if we’re going full gender difference analysis, i think guys are a lot more likely to have a group chat like this, than women, so there’s that.

    • KillingTimeItself@lemmy.dbzer0.comEnglish
      1024·
      8 天前

      derek is still a cunt though. If you join and find shit you don’t like the first thing you should do is confront people. Either derek just likes causing people problems (and is a problematic individual) or he is not very bright and thinks that everything people say must be 100% true and serious.

      I would not ever want to be friends with derek, that’s for sure.

        • KillingTimeItself@lemmy.dbzer0.comEnglish
          36·
          7 天前

          yeah idk call me schizo all you want but i’m not huge on being friends with someone willing to drop everything to make me look the worst fucking person possible.

          Derek did literally everything possible to cause fallout here, he really didn’t need to go that far.

        • JuxtaposedJaguar@lemmy.ml
          111·
          7 天前

          How would you feel if you invited a few people to your home and then found out one of them secretly recorded audio the entire time? That’s the equivalent of screenshotting messages in a small group chat.

          Unless you were literally planning crimes, the actual content of the conversation is irrelevant to the principle.

          • Lightor@lemmy.world
            111·
            7 天前

            If, in my home me and my friends are sharing sensitive info about past relationships and other actions that can embarrass or hurt people, then exposing that is for the best. I mean where is the limit, if you’re invited to a chat where they’re massively racist and sexist, do you think that deserves to be exposed or do you just keep everyone’s dirty secrets no matter what?

            • KillingTimeItself@lemmy.dbzer0.comEnglish
              25·
              7 天前

              idk i’d probably leave, and if anybody ever asked me about i’d say i didn’t like it. If i saw concerning behavior i would probably de-associate from those specific people. Not grenade an entire friend group over it, that’s extra.

              It’s not my place to manage friend group politics.

              • Ledivin@lemmy.world
                1·
                3 天前

                Doing literally nothing when you see shitty behavior is almost as bad as the shitty behavior itself. Stop letting people you know get away with being pieces of shit - call them out. Ignoring it simply enables more people to ignore it, and the behavior slowly becomes more and more socially acceptable.

              • Lightor@lemmy.world
                3·
                7 天前

                If I see concerning behavior, I feel the need to say something because it’s concerning. More girls will be embarrassed, more people could be exploited, it’s not ok. I feel like seeing that, knowing you can do something, and choosing not to is pretty close to condoning it. It’s not about friend group politics; there are people outside the friend group who are being passed around in that without their knowledge or consent, and that’s not ok. I wouldn’t care if it was just guys with dark memes.

          • ByteOnBikes@slrpnk.net
            8·
            7 天前

            Using your same metaphor, if you came to another person’s house and all they did was shit on their family, and then make dark jokes about killing them - is it all fun and games until something bad happens?

            There are lines. You don’t know what Derek saw.

            But apparently it was so bad that a lot of people are really disgusted at the core group.

            • KillingTimeItself@lemmy.dbzer0.comEnglish
              15·
              7 天前

              that’s true, but judging by this thread people are also really sensitive about this kind of shit, so it wouldn’t take very much for people to get pissed off like this.

              • Lightor@lemmy.world
                2·
                6 天前

                Yeah, I’m one of those people. I have this apparently strange sensitivity to people sharing intimate photos of others without their consent or knowledge. Feels very exploitative. I’m just one of those people who doesn’t like to sit back and let people hurt others like that for the lols of a group chat.

          • redwattlebird@lemmings.world
            4·
            7 天前

            Flip side: how would you feel if you shared your most vulnerable, intimate moments with one trusted person, only to realise that you’ve been recorded, shared around and commented on in a group chat full of acquaintances?

            Can you see how Derek just delivered karmic justice?

            • JuxtaposedJaguar@lemmy.ml
              13·
              7 天前

              I’m not saying it’s not awful, but I still think that publicly telling everyone is inappropriate. Derek basically did the same thing as them.

              • Ledivin@lemmy.world
                1·
                3 天前

                So it’s okay for the group to bully people, but not for Derek to expose it? Weird line, definitely a red flag…

            • KillingTimeItself@lemmy.dbzer0.comEnglish
              14·
              7 天前

              yeah but half of those were previously recorded, the worst thing in that chat is probably the text messages from the one dude specifically. Maybe making fun of people behind their back? But it really depends on how that went down, could be primarily for venting it’s hard to say without having concrete examples. So i’m giving the benefit of the doubt on that one.

  • son_named_bort@lemmy.world
    691·
    8 天前

    I once had a group chat that got leaked. There’s a possibility that it may have involved some light treason.

  • MTK@lemmy.world
    749·
    8 天前

    Ah yes, “cocksucker” as the first insult to come to mind, the sign of a good person

      • MTK@lemmy.world
        444·
        8 天前

        It implies that for a man, sucking cock (a legitimate sexual act for any gender) is an insult because that would make him gay. So Homophobic.

        • KillingTimeItself@lemmy.dbzer0.comEnglish
          15·
          7 天前

          ok?

          So what if i just argued that “cocksucker” just meant that you would suck someones cock if you got you something. I.E. you’re easily bribed/manipulated. As far as i know, that’s how most people use it.

          That’s literally the implication like 99% of the time. If you wanted to insult someone for being gay, you would just call them a faggot or something lmao. No need to mince words at that point.

            • KillingTimeItself@lemmy.dbzer0.comEnglish
              12·
              6 天前

              to be clear, the wiki page you explicitly linked literally say it has a historical connotation, and the primary example it lists is from checks notes 53 years ago.

              I’m going to hazard a guess that the sentiment has probably changed, a little bit. Since 1972. 1972 to be clear, was 8 years after the passing of the civil rights act. It’s a bit of a different time period now.

              anyway point is, i’m not convinced anybody cares about using this as a homophobic slur anymore.

              Sorry for the short temper, this thread has been too long and I already explained this on another comment.

              it’s whatever, that’s how the internet is lol. This thread has been more than amusing for me thus far.

        • Arthur Besse@lemmy.mlEnglish
          112·
          7 天前

          imo the pejorative connotation of that word, and homophobia generally, is ultimately rooted in misogyny

          "always has been" meme with "wait, it's all about maintaining the patriarchy?"

          • Redfox8@mander.xyz
            13·
            7 天前

            I think you’re getting caught up in the state being abusive and controlling to it’s citizens (as Dump is doing now) and society self-regulating itself for it’s own benefit (something that happens in all social groups) as being one and the same. Just because someone calls out another person’s bad behaviour, that does not equate to supporting a dictatorial, or similarly controlling, leadership.

              • despicable@lemmy.todayEnglish
                61·
                7 天前

                Lmao my man here thinks that the American democratic party is leftist, that’s hilarious.

              • Redfox8@mander.xyz
                3·
                7 天前

                What have far left (or far right, or even centrist) politics got to do with it? This is about what’s socially acceptable. Yes that feeds into politics and left/right/centre opinions, but I’m not discussing politics (nor was the person you replied to). Which ties in with my first comment that you’re combining politics with social issues erroneously.

                Ultimately abuse is, abuse, is abuse, no matter how you dress it up.

              • Triasha@lemmy.world
                3·
                7 天前

                First of all, screw the Democrats they are not left wing. They are center right shitlibs, with a few milqtoast standouts like Bernie and AOC.

                Second. You correctly look at democrats and see they are just Republicans lite, but your mistake is in thinking that going further left leads to greater power to the state to curtail speech, thought, and action. The left wants liberation. Economic and social. The power of government to celurtail speech is not liberation, it’s oppression.

          • Christer Enfors@lemm.eeEnglish
            111·
            8 天前

            Where do they say that they want microphones listening to people? Just because someone doesn’t like some ways of talking, doesn’t mean that they want 1984-style surveillance of everyone.

          • abbotsbury@lemmy.worldEnglish
            182·
            8 天前

            That’s still degrading to fellators.

            And idk if I’d say it’s a power thing, cocksuckers are the active participant in a blow job, and I’d say the submissive one is the one with their meat between a pair of teeth.

            • KillingTimeItself@lemmy.dbzer0.comEnglish
              13·
              7 天前

              find me people who suck cock that actually give a fuck about other people calling people cocksuckers and we can talk.

              And idk if I’d say it’s a power thing, cocksuckers are the active participant in a blow job, and I’d say the submissive one is the one with their meat between a pair of teeth.

              nobody is arguing that sucking cock is submissive??? The argument is that being a cocksucker is a submissive thing.

              Or you trolling? Or are you actually serious?

            • BigBananaDealer@lemm.ee
              69·
              8 天前

              its still at the end of the day giving pleasure to another. giving the key word: power thing. its the same atmosphere as bootlicker

              • papertowels@mander.xyz
                131·
                8 天前

                If you think going down on someone is only a submissive act you haven’t gone down on someone long enough, or teased them enough.

              • MTK@lemmy.world
                82·
                8 天前

                Being submissive in sex can be expressed in a blowjob, but so can being dominant. Most sexual acts can be either dominant or submissive under the right context. For example a person can forcibly (consensually) throw the other person down, pin them to the floor and start going down on them while not letting them orgasm. Is the person being overpowered and forced to be frustrate by not orgasming the one in power?

                Your understanding of mutual respect and love is unhealthy if you compare going down on someone to bootlicking.

                • BigBananaDealer@lemm.ee
                  23·
                  7 天前

                  im comparing an insult to bootlicking. jesus christ you people really feel like arguing over absolutely nothing

              • abbotsbury@lemmy.worldEnglish
                4·
                7 天前

                Okay but like, in regular penis-in-vagina sex, the man is (theoretically) giving pleasure to the woman while also doing all the work. Is that still power play? Is pussyfucker the same as cocksucker?

                • KillingTimeItself@lemmy.dbzer0.comEnglish
                  14·
                  7 天前

                  i mean yeah, pussyfucker if you used as an insult would be quite a weird insult to throw, but it would work i suppose.

                  Motherfucker is also in the same vein like the other commenter suggested.

                • BigBananaDealer@lemm.ee
                  13·
                  7 天前

                  pussyfucker isnt an insult ive ever heard but motherfucker is

                  cocksucker reminds me of the prison mentality of making someone your bitch so thats where im getting the power play from

              • Redfox8@mander.xyz
                41·
                7 天前

                So, if you were to replace ‘cocksucker’ with ‘towelhead’, slut, Yid, or Nig*** would that still just be a power thing?

                Not that it actually makes a difference. This ‘power thing’ you refer to is controlling abuse for self interest. Introducing a predudice is just a way of trying to justify and/or hide the abuse.

              • MTK@lemmy.world
                51·
                8 天前

                Too lazy to write two separate responses? I’ll try!

                “Don’t be a bigot” = dystopian future

                Sound logic.

                Oh shit, that’s the same message, guess you will have to read it twice, maybe that way it will get through to you.

                Tap for spoiler

                You can be better, reflect on your bigotry and grow as a person.

          • MTK@lemmy.world
            42·
            8 天前

            He could have also said “vaginalicker” but he didn’t, he used a well known homophobic slur. Also, if he wanted to say submissive he could have used well known submissive insults.