damn, reminds me of this guy I learned about in school.
Virginia senator/planter. massive hard-on for southern secession. when South Carolina made it’s move, he rode all the way to Fort Sumter so he could fire a cannonball at the Union: the first shot of the Civil War… at the age of 67.
when General Lee signed the surrender, upon hearing the news, he wrote a note about how much he hated the “vile Yankee race”, wrapped himself in the Confederate flag, put his rifle in his mouth, and used a stick to push the trigger. it misfired so he reloaded and did it again, successfully this time before his alerted family could rush upstairs to stop him.
truly, one of american history’s most committed and uncompromising assholes.
It’s so funny that God gave him a second chance but he was too racist to take it.
“I actually really like brimstone.” Trips over his shattered head into hell for being a racist slaver dipshit. Lmao.
c’mon that’s Vigo the Carpathian
Also known as Vigo the Cruel, Vigo the Torturer, Vigo the Despised, and Vigo the Unholy.
we had that on VHS tape when i was a kid, out of like maybe 7 tapes, so it hit the rotation a lot.
i have watched that conversation at least 50 times, the combo of existential horror but like “what a douche” at the same time killed me as a little kid.
Vigo the Carpathian. Born 1505, died 1610.
105 years old, he hung in there, didn’t he?
He didn’t die of old age, either. He was poisoned, stabbed, shot, hung, stretched, disembowled, drawn and quartered.
Ouch.
Guess he wasn’t too popular at the end, huh?
No, not exactly a man of the people. Also known as Vigo the Cruel, Vigo the Torturer, Vigo the Despised, and Vigo the Unholy.
Wasn’t he also Vigo the Butch?
And dig this, there was a prophecy. Just before his head died, his last words were:
“Death is but a door. Time is but a window. I’ll be back.”whenever some conversation about burial shit comes up, i say out of nowhere, deadpan that i want “death is but a door…” line written on my memorial stone or whatever to see if anyone catches it. nobody ever does and i sound like a crazy person.
I found a YouTube link in your comment. Here are links to the same video on alternative frontends that protect your privacy:
“Milton’s youngest son, Jefferson Davis Milton (1861–1947) moved to Texas, later Arizona. He distinguished himself as a Texas Ranger, police chief of El Paso, and served for over 25 years as America’s first border agent.”
distinguished himself
Not really distinguishing himself from his dad tbh
Best, and only, work he ever did in his life.
Everyone always talks down about Adolf Hitler. No one ever has anything good to say about the man. But like any historical villain, he did make a few positive contributions to humanity. First and foremost, he was the guy who finally managed to kill Hitler!
To be fair some good things came out of Hitler’s head. For example, the other side of his head.
I’m pretty sure Elon Musk owns several pairs of Hitler’s pants and wears them frequently. That seems like something he would do, and he certainly has the budget to pull it off.
He probably shit in hitlers pants too, that was based
From the Wikipedia article:
Like many families of the era, Reconstruction was an economically difficult time for the late governor’s family in Jackson County, Florida.
Tough shit, they didn’t have the free labor of enslaved people. Rest in piss.
when you find out you’re gonna have to get a job
Good.
Remember folks, if you ever feel like killing yourself, it will be for a better reason than this fool.
I think any reason for a slaveowner to kill themselves is a damn fine reason. The morally correct decision, even if it’s not the best reasoning.
His only fault was that he didn’t kill himself before enslaving a bunch of people
🙂↕️ Agreed actually
lol
I HAVE NOTHING
I think there is a lot that gets forgotten about the civil war. Yes, racism and slavery were major issues. But it is a very uninformed view to think that was all that was going on. I’m not downplaying the slavery issue here, don’t misunderstand what I’m saying. Just adding to it.
The south was run by a class system that resembled a monarchy much more than the north. Meaning there were ruling families in each area that worked under a tiered system of authority that was often above the government. These two different cultures were at complete odds with each other. The south was more economically efficient from colonization up until the CW. But the North had gone through an industrial revolution that evened the playing field, n gating the economic arguments for slavery (which was horribly wrong). Their plan wasn’t just to maintain slavery, it was to exert dominant control over the north to preserve their economic superiority, while also maintaining their class based culture (among the whites) and the power of a relatively few families who ran everything.
Imagine you and everyone you ever knew had one or two companies/families who provided well for everyone in the community. You thought they were benevolent to everyone (obviously ignoring the oppressed slaves) and believed that the only people who opposed them were just crooks. Then some far away country you traded with said that employer was bad and needed to be destroyed. You would think that every world of it was pure evil. So evil you would fight against it with your life. Even if you had no slaves and were just a poor farmer.
Tl/Dr: It wasn’t slavery that drove most southerners (who didn’t own slaves) to fight in the Civil War. It was fear and misinformation that convinced them their entire word would come to a devastating end if they didn’t win. (The people in power did it for money and power, which they used slavery to get)
