I know I’m not the only one having issues with finding work, but this is definitely the worst market I’ve had to deal with since I started working about a decade ago.
I got laid off from my remote job a couple years ago, and was originally intending to take a bit of time off. But then my dad passed away unexpectedly a few weeks after getting laid off, and that kind of fucked me up for a while and wasn’t really in the mindset to look for work. I also lost my grandfather a few months later, which also fucking sucked.
I meant to originally start looking for work at the beginning of 2024, but then our kiddo caught COVID, despite masking, cuz the 
s in charge decided our schools must be even bigger petri dishes than they already were by declaring COVID to no longer exist, and one-way masking can unfortunately fail, but I digress. Considering our kiddo is high risk to begin with, we were really relieved that he didn’t have any complications after the acute phase. I dodged COVID somehow, but my partner wasn’t as lucky. They ended up having several debilitating symptoms that made them semi-bedbound for over half a year, and I more or less decided to shelve my plans for job hunting so I could be their full-time caretaker. And I don’t regret that one bit, to be clear, we focused on rest and recovery above all else and my partner is more or less back to their baseline level of health before they got COVID, thank fuck.
Even though my partner is working again and makes enough for us to get by, I would still like to find work for myself. I started looking about half a year ago but am not really having any luck, and I regularly feel dread about it and sometimes it just feels profoundly pointless. Even if an interview goes well, I don’t really pin my hopes to any particular role, as I just kind of assume there’s a good chance the job is fake, they’re pretending they’re hiring to make their existing overworked employees feel like help is on the way, or they already have an internal candidate and the interviews are just a formality, but idk.
I can’t help but feel that my resume gap is fucking me over. I would hope that gaps have been more normalized since the onset of the pandemic, but I’ve had multiple interviews where it comes up and the recruiter seems surprised I’m not working (even though I didn’t attempt to hide it) and then that’s usually the only interview. I’ve had a couple interviews go multiple rounds, but that’s about it. I feel like I’ve exhausted my network at this point (one of the ones that went multiple rounds was a referral from someone I used to work with, only for them to ghost me entirely, LOL).
And even when I’m transparent about the gap, I’m not sure how much to divulge or what to put on a resume or discuss in an interview, between caregiving, taking what was sort of a sabbatical to deal with loss, and being a stay-at-home dad all the meanwhile. I definitely haven’t been sitting on my ass, and I’ve also been working on relevant education and certifications in recent months as well, but meh.
All the different advice I see is also often conflicting and just makes me want to pull out my hair, too. Be vague about the gap! Actually, be transparent about the gap! Send a tailored resume to every job application! Actually, use a single resume and just bulk apply because it’s a numbers game! Actually, use a different resume for each different job title you’re seeking! Message the hiring manager on LinkedIn! Actually don’t message the hiring manager because they’ll hate that and put your resume in the trash!. AHH 
In general I’m finding recruiters to be completely fucking worthless, too. I’ve had several message me with roles that were relevant and ones I was qualified for, I reply to them, and then I don’t hear a fucking peep again. Only one of them actually got back to me and turned it into an interview. So I’m not even sure what fucking good LinkedIn is at this point. I’ve always fucking loathed that site. I made an account several years ago but it increasingly feels like it would make sense to delete it, especially since I’m considering just lying.
But yeah, is it worth it to just lie at this point? I don’t blame anyone who does, especially in this market. Despite this, there’s been this part of my brain that has felt resigned to being frank about my situation, but, well, companies lie to candidates and employees all the fucking time, so I’ve increasingly felt like I might have to play this fucking game, too. And if I need to just make up a role to bridge the gap at this point. Although part of me is still nervous about it, i.e. having a lie be exposed during a background check. Even if I were to lie, I’m not super sure about the best way to do so, you know?
i was lying about various things the whole time and i felt like i finessed my company, until my collegue a few weeks ago said that he straight up lied about his entire degree. i assumed they had some way of knowing about that lmao
In my country there is extensive Background Verification Agencies whose entire job is to stalk new hires and find out everything about them. Can’t fake your experience because the government itself handles a record of employment which companies can see at will. If you’re found out then these same BGV agencies will blacklist you and then you can’t get another job because companies will not hire anyone with a bad record as they all use the same agencies.
What country? That sounds dystopian AF!
India.
Another fun fact, you need to get an “experience letter” from your organisation when you leave otherwise your new company will assume you did a crime or something. This along with mandatory 3 month notice periods essentially makes job searching really difficult and makes you a hostage. Plus some companies ask for a lot of money like half your yearly salary for the experience letters if you leave before 3-4 years.
i assumed they had some way of knowing about that lmao
From what i can tell, unless something is explicitly required by law or they need some rare and specific skill, entire recruitment process at most jobs is basically based entirely on vibes.
Register your own LLC right now and give yourself a normal sounding job title that’s consistent with your work experience
If you continue to be unemployed a year later, you’ve now been employed for the last year on your resume and it passes background checks
Don’t call yourself a Founder, CEO, whatever the fuck, just the same title or 1 level up from your last job
Recruiters will believe that it’s a real job at a real company
in a similar position (but im disabled so im super cooked since im not competitive at all lol). yea i totally get where you’re at. personally i looked for 2 years straight and it led to the worst burnout of my life. so. don’t do that if you can. i dunno i think when i try doing job hunting again im just gonna disassociate while doing it so i dont go insane
i would definitely recommend lying. if you are anxious to make up huge lies, say you were freelancing and get friends to be references as former clients… i guess your mileage with that will vary based on how normal that is in your industry
also for sanity, it’s not your fault, unemployment is literally designed to make people desperate so they will accept anything their employers throw at them
Ah damn, solidarity, my friend. Don’t you just love how remote work, something that is far more inclusive than in-person work, was demonized by the capitalists and a shit ton of companies did RTO mandates in lockstep? I honestly never realized how overstimulating and draining in-person work could be for my neurospicy ass until I worked remotely. I wish everyone could have the option to work remotely, if desired.
I definitely have had to take little breaks from job searching due to a bit of burnout as well, can’t imagine doing it nonstop for 2 years, damn.
So, I’ve historically worked in bullshit roles in a bullshit industry that definitely can be done as freelancing, and it is something I’ve considered putting on a resume before. I actually thought about using one of those freelance sites for real to build a portfolio, but was dissuaded when I heard that it can be really hard to even start nowadays, so idk. But regardless, I could probably get friends to pretend to be clients if I wanted to go that route. Thanks for the advice
yea i took the advice of “you should treat job hunting like your real job until you get one”
it was not good advice
All the different advice I see is also often conflicting and just makes me want to pull out my hair, too. Be vague about the gap! Actually, be transparent about the gap! Send a tailored resume to every job application! Actually, use a single resume and just bulk apply because it’s a numbers game! Actually, use a different resume for each different job title you’re seeking! Message the hiring manager on LinkedIn! Actually don’t message the hiring manager because they’ll hate that and put your resume in the trash!.
the real answer is to know someone who can unilaterally get you hired, which is why none of that advice is reliable.
Yeah, I never want to hear about “muh hard work” when literally the number one job advice is “if you’re not a nepo baby, just give up!”
And this is why my “job” is daytrader. No interview process needed to gamble 🙃
Think about it this way. Is the faceless corporation going to be completely honest with you? No? Then it certainly isn’t a moral issue to lie to that faceless corporation in exchange for you getting to survive in this brutal, capitalist society.
Do people really care about gaps in the resume? That seems so wild to me. Just lie. Say you tried your hand at running a landscaping business but you couldn’t crack the market. Or say you were helping with end of life care for an elder family member.
Do people really care about gaps in the resume?
Yes…if it’s too long or you’re not doing some other job they consider you to be a bum
Those people get the wall when the time comes. What the fuck
Yes I’ve heard hiring managers talking about gaps extremely negatively. I don’t really understand what it intrinsically means about a person’s skills or potential
“They might know how to exist outside the paradigm of work, which is an unacceptable risk to the prison ship-like work culture we try to foster here.”
OK so, I’ve dealt with long job gaps before. IMO, 2 years isn’t that bad. It’s pretty easy to skirt the issue around this. (I’ve also helped with hiring employees so i know the drill)
I recommend being honest and saying “My father passed away, and I took some time to process this. Then I worked on myself did odd jobs, and now that I’m feeling better I feel I can better commit to your company.” Keep in mind- odd jobs can include hobbies, learning skills like languages, or even learning ways to improve yourself emotionally. When we were looking for employees we wanted to see people who just used that time to better themselves. (Tho I worked for a nonprofit that helped students so ymmv)
A good workplace will be sympathetic. I recommend going to a job center and doing some mock-interviews to help build your confidence up.
Hmm okay I’ve been wondering about this because this is what I’d prefer, since saying something like that is more or less the truth. And yeah that was also kind of what I was thinking as well in regards to a sympathetic workplace, i.e. a place that isn’t sympathetic or understanding of a gap may not necessarily be the best environment to begin with. Thanks for the advice
No problem, good luck with your job hunt!
A good workplace will be sympathetic
As much as they are interviewing you, you are also interviewing them. If you get vibes that for example they look poorly on taking time off for grieving an immediate family member then think of what else they would look down upon like if you were sick or just wanted vacation
I forgot to ask, if you don’t mind, since you said you’re someone who has helped with hiring employees, I was wondering if you had any advice on whether to focus on one specific reason for a gap, or whether to mention all factors. Because in my case, it was definitely multiple factors that have contributed to my gap, between the loss of my father and then caretaking. I’m also feeling like maybe I shouldn’t mention anything at all about being a stay-at-home parent but idk.
I really have trouble figuring out the best way to explain the gap if it comes up (which it often does). My hunch says it might be best to just focus on one thing and keep it succinct, mention how it’s resolved, and then turn it around and say some shit about how I’m eager to work again and excited for this role blah blah blah, but I’m honestly not sure.
Ah, I recommend keeping it succinct and answering more questions should they ask. Caregiving + death of a close family member is a very good reason for a gap and, in my experience hiring and being hired- good employers will be understanding.
I can relate to wanting to explain everything, I was always (and still can be) afraid of being misunderstood, but the more I’ve practiced interviews the more I’ve learned to respond succinctly. Honestly, a job interview is more to see confidence and if you’ll get along with your co-workers.
Just talk casually, like “Yeah, I had to spend time caring for a sick family member and I lost a parent. It was a full time job.”
Anyone who is sane will be empathetic, if they aren’t, fuck that job, run.
Also my favorite job seeking tip is at the end of the interview ask this question: “If you were to hire me, what strengths do you see me in that position? What would my day to day look Iike at your company?”
By asking this question you get the employer thinking about you already working there and that will stick with them.
I also recommend that prior to the interview you have a good meal, exercise, and do some breathing exercises to relax. It is tough when you are desperate for work, but the reality is the more that you relax the better your chances. Focus on what you know you’re good at and be kind to yourself.
Always make shit up always
Should I just be making shit up on my resume
at this point?yes
What’s your field? If it’s vaguely tech related, just say you were contracting. “Software consultant” for two years, then just put whatever certs and studying you’ve been doing in terms of “doing work for randos”. This accounts for fully 5 of the last 10 years of my resume.
Yeah it’s a bullshit field that’s is kind of tech related, but it is definitely something that can be done via contracting/consulting/freelancing, yeah
I’ve unironically resorted to making shit up unless it explicitly can be verified. I haven’t even touched leetcode but I’ve done a couple projects of following a project on youtube to the letter…guess who know has Python, Javascript, HTML/CSS as “skills”? Now hogs might even hire me. At my previous job I’ve started making shit up that I accomplished, all the ‘quantified achievements’ are totally made up and arbitrary. I started volunteering but I consider that a “job” and again, make shit up.
It’s like sneaking vegetables into the picky eater child’s brownies, and lo and behold carrot cake is just as good as chocolate or vanilla without anyone noticing.
Start a bullshit LLC and label yourself a budding entrepreneur. Slap that on a resume for shits and giggles.
World is kind of in “fuck it” mode anyways.
I felt so silly knowing I didn’t realize that bullshitting was the way until a good deal of months in.
Maybe try volunteering?
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If you’re willing to do some odd jobs for low pay and terrible hours for a bit, try working for a temp agency. You might not be working every day, but it’s a little bit of income and sometimes it’s easier to get bites on applications if it looks like you already have a job.
Yeah that’s a good idea, I’ve been applying to roles through staffing agencies that are basically the same industry as my past jobs, but yeah, I might need to expand the search a bit since I’m not having great luck so far. But definitely have been looking at contracts, part time, temporary roles, etc.
