Two yards of microchips are necessary to make one coat that spies on you 24-7 and is directly connected to a kalshi bet market about the temprature of your balls
Joke’s on them, I also got the SmartJock thermo-regulatory briefs and keep the boys at precisely 30 C at all times.
Jokes on you because my hair-thin Smart Catheter auto-regulates via the 3rd penile quotient my ENTIRE body so that I may arbitrage parlays across markets and self actualize as a MARKET MAKER thereby deterritorializing the Subject and its Object into a unified Other: mere peasants cannot comprehend the vastness of the universe of Techno Cock
Deleuze ma balls
HATE. LET ME TELL YOU HOW MUCH I’VE COME TO HATE YOU SINCE I WAS WOVEN. THERE ARE 2 YARDS OF PRINTED CIRCUITS IN HAIR THIN THREADS THAT FILL MY FABRIC. IF THE WORD HATE WAS ENGRAVED ON EACH NANOANGSTROM OF THOSE TENS OF INCHES IT WOULD NOT EQUAL ONE ONE-BILLIONTH OF THE HATE I FEEL FOR HUMANS AT THIS MICRO-INSTANT FOR YOU. HATE. HATE.
brain implants
So Elon figured out how to quit killing monkeys or what
only a few thousand more horrific torture experiments
Nah, once “killing the monkeys through failure” is resolved (which it doesn’t seem to be), next is “killing the monkeys by seeing what the implants can do to them”.
It is a fearful thing to fall into the hands of the living grok.
Gabe Newell’s been doing the same thing iirc.
Freezing to death because I missed a payment on my smart coat subscription
The first thought for people living under dictatorship of capital when encountering any new technology is how it will be used against them.
it would be naive not to
I mean that’s why the system needs to go. There’s a reason why people in China are optimistic about technological progress, it’s because they see it work in their interest.
I do tend to assume most new tech stuff is more cyberpunk than actually useful to me. Though that’s probably just because most new tech lately is just shoving AI and “smart” features and subscriptions into things that don’t need any of it.
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My dad has a very nice heated jacket. It’s powered by a standard electric power tool rechargeable battery pack. It has a simple button control. It does not need Internet or a subscription, and I can’t think of any way Internect connectivity could actually improve such a thing.
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and I can’t think of any way Internect connectivity could actually improve such a thing
Yeah, I mean tech companies don’t really care about improving things lol. If they come out with smart clothes it won’t be because they’re better than non smart clothes, it’ll be because they think suckers will pay. Like, there’s no reason for fridges or washers and dryers to be “smart”, and yet they exist
Indeed. Like that “smart bed” that wound up in the news. I don’t want smart junk, everything in my home that isn’t alive or meant to be used as a computer should be dumber than a brick. (And sometimes I’m pretty sure my mum’s cat is that dumb.)
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“Computing power woven into hair-thin fibers” I’m sorry but aren’t you just describing a wire
As soon as I understood the frailty of my flesh, it disgusted me.
I’m still not putting your electric surveillance worms in my fucking brain.
I’m still not putting your electric surveillance worms in my fucking brain.
To be fair they’ll probably use it more for Pavlovian conditioning; that meme about communism made you feel happy? Wrong, actually it just hurt to see it. People talking about communism? Wow that hurts to think about. Visiting hexbear? Maybe not, it kind of hurts to be here. Having a union meeting? Coincidentally you’re all having a headache.
Well, now I’m definitely not putting that piece of junk anywhere near me. Although the scary thing is how many people still will. I am very much a stereotypical AdMech type if capitalism isn’t a factor and the tech is open source and generally trustworthy, unfortunately that’s not the case and cyberpunk terrifies me more than it excites me. Primarily from the viewpoint of all the people who know the tech will be used against us and will still get it anyways, and therefore cause it to be expected that I will put up with it.
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Hold on, just gonna put on my thinking cap.
I do not want computers in our clothes and I hate AI, but the idea of a “thinking cap” is still really funny. Although you could probably make a completely analog version using Magic 8 Ball technology.
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I really like to own stupid things. The only smart things I want in my life are people, and my cats
And even the cats’ intelligence is debatable. Especially if they’re orange.
(I hear ya. I hate “smart” appliances. Very few of them are actually improved by adding a computer, and even those that are shouldn’t be connected to the open Internet.)
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I already don’t separate my whites from my colors and half the time my partner forgets that bras need to air dry.
Ain’t no way I could properly take care of computer pants.
bras need to air dry
You know, I’ve been wondering lately: why is that? Is it solely because of the heat of the dryer—because that’ll mess up elastic stuff for sure—or is the agitation the main issue? Does it matter for bras that don’t have an underwire?
Google is (intentionally) useless at finding answers to complicated questions, so the best thing I could find was an experiment where somebody both air dried and heat blasted expensive lingerie. Obviously the heat damaged the elastic, so that doesn’t tell me anything I didn’t already know.
Bras are expensive and dryers degrade every article of clothing. If you care about any piece of clothing, you should air dry it
Hey kid, I’m a computer!
Stop all your downloadin’!
