do not name your firstborn

IDK just make sure you leverage a parlay on polymarket then pick the winner based on the payout.

You could lend out the naming rights to corporations for a sponsorship.

Name your child ™, or ®, or ©. The most American names possible.

Let your firstborn name themselves at the most cringe possible age, probably something around 13-15.

Ebony Dark’ness Dementia Raven Way-9to5

Badposting is over there

Steel-Hand Dropkick

For the first name

Flickin Dabeanis

The babes first sound shall be its name

Just inagine it

“Dr Oooaaa, we need your expertise in the OR stat!”

“All rise, judge *raspberry noise* presiding”

The worst would be if baby became a podcaster. Not cause of the name but because of being a podcaster, of course

I think they need to devour your heart to claim your name.

see if any 90’s comics or video games are offering prizes for naming your kid after their characters

Dr. Cheddar

Baby mcbabyface

Get their skin wrapped like a car for maximum marketing exposure and buckaroos for you